As promised, I'm going to run through a few fantasy baseball sleepers and busts to round out my 2009 fantasy baseball extravaganza. Yes. Extravaganza.
Also, just so you are mentally prepared, the rest of this week will be basically dedicated to March madness. So you've got that to look forward to.
Let's start with the sleepers:
Kevin Slowey (Twins)Kicking things off is my homer sleeper du jour. Slowey is going to have a big year this year. Now, big is all relative, I'm not saying he'll win the Cy Young or anything, but if 13 to 16 wins and an ERA somewhere in the high 3.00s or low 4.00s is something you might be interested in, then allow me to introduce Mr. Slowey.
Stephen Drew (Diamondbacks)
Yes, I do feel dirty having a Drew on this list; but at least this Drew doesn't have the back of a 90 year old. Plus here are a few numbers for you: 44 doubles, 11 triples, 21 homers. Those are a few Stephen numbers from 2008. He is entering his third full season in the league and is poised to take off. Plus, one of the Drews has to live up to his potential eventually, right?
Adam Jones (Orioles)
(Insert Pacman joke here.) There. We got that out of the way. Now let me just tell you Jones is my, let’s call it, "super sleeper" of the year. I'm not saying he's going to be a top ten player or anything, but he will hit for good power with lots of speed and a solid batting average. And, for where he will go in the draft, he is definitley worth picking up; a lot of upside with Mr. Jones.
Aaron Harang (Reds)
Harang was absolutely awful last year. I know because he was on my fantasy team. Before you judge, though, look at his stats from 2007 and 2007. He was wildly underrated back then and I say he has a bounce back year. So there.
Lastings Milledge OR Elijah Dukes (Nationals)
But not both. One of them will have a good year and one of them will not. Choose one. I'm leaning towards Dukes, mostly because he scares me. Just, whatever you do, don't draft both of them because you will ruin the magic, consequently sucking them into a vortex of mediocrity. Do you really want that on your conscience?
Those are few of my sleepers, not necessarily all, but a few. I'm not giving them all to you because, well, do your own damn research you lazy bastard.
Anyhoo, on to the busts:
Felix Hernandez (Mariners)
He drives me crazy. Seriously. I draft him every year thinking he will finally break out, and he disappoints me every year. And you know what? I'll probably ignore my own advice and do it again. Damn you King Felix, damn you.
But not both. One of them will have a good year and one of them will not. Choose one. I'm leaning towards Dukes, mostly because he scares me. Just, whatever you do, don't draft both of them because you will ruin the magic, consequently sucking them into a vortex of mediocrity. Do you really want that on your conscience?
Those are few of my sleepers, not necessarily all, but a few. I'm not giving them all to you because, well, do your own damn research you lazy bastard.
Anyhoo, on to the busts:
Felix Hernandez (Mariners)
He drives me crazy. Seriously. I draft him every year thinking he will finally break out, and he disappoints me every year. And you know what? I'll probably ignore my own advice and do it again. Damn you King Felix, damn you.
Ichiro Suzuki (Mariners)
Hey look I used his last name. More importantly, though, guess how old Ichiro is. Just guess. Don't cheat. Ready? Ready for this? Ready?
36.
He is going to start losing a step eventually, causing a drop in both steals and batting average; essentially making him worthless fantasy-wise. I say this is the year.
Hey look I used his last name. More importantly, though, guess how old Ichiro is. Just guess. Don't cheat. Ready? Ready for this? Ready?
36.
He is going to start losing a step eventually, causing a drop in both steals and batting average; essentially making him worthless fantasy-wise. I say this is the year.
Any Yankees Starting Pitcher (Yankees, obviously)
Here is the Yankee rotation:
1. Massively overweight
2. Always injured
3. Euphemism for penis
4. Old
5. Possibly a felon
Hey. Good luck with that.
Matt Wieters (Orioles)
I think he will be very good eventually. The key word being EVENTUALLY. Take a look at his minor league stats, they are literally jaw dropping. Seriously I had to pry my jaw off the floor. It just isn't his time yet.
Here is the Yankee rotation:
1. Massively overweight
2. Always injured
3. Euphemism for penis
4. Old
5. Possibly a felon
Hey. Good luck with that.
Matt Wieters (Orioles)
I think he will be very good eventually. The key word being EVENTUALLY. Take a look at his minor league stats, they are literally jaw dropping. Seriously I had to pry my jaw off the floor. It just isn't his time yet.
Prince Fielder (Brewers)Now I will admit I have a personal vendetta against Fielder. He may very well be my least favorite athlete in the world. I just thought you should know that before you take my advice about a guy who hit 50 home runs two years ago - which, by the way, helped win The Kicker and I like $400 in fantasy, so I don't hate him for screwing me over, I hate him because he seems like a terrible person. Plus he regressed in EVERY statistical category last year. I foresee that trend continuing.
Well, that is my list of sleepers and busts. I look forward to you all mocking me in a few months when it turns out my choices failed spectacularly.
-Juice
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2 comments:
I did like the Wong joke :)
I am jumping on the Stephen Drew bandwagon
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