Random Thoughts...

...Is anybody actually excited for the Super Bowl? Or is everybody just excited that this debacle of an NFL season is finally going to be over?

...How annoying is the whole "G" ad campaign? Gatorade can't afford the seven other letters anymore?

...I find it interesting that MSNBC, the liberal ying to the Fox News conservative yang, likes to run specials on serial killers. I don't know for sure what this says about liberals, but I guess if we find out that Barack Obama is not only a terrorist but a serial killer as well, we shouldn't be surprised.

...I defy you to find anything more repetitive and annoyingly catchy than "If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it."

...Also, anytime an athlete departs for a new team because their old team couldn't "win the big one" they should play that song at their press conference.

...Family Guy is the most overrated show on television. Some of the show's random pop culture references were funny at first, but the novelty has worn off. Besides, it's just a crappy rip off of the Simpsons.

...Has there ever been anything less shocking than finding out that Santonio Holmes used to sell drugs? I guess I just assumed he still does.

...If some crazy lady who already has six kids shows up at your fertility clinic, you should probably turn her away: http://www.startribune.com/nation/38733202.html?elr=KArksLckD8EQDUoaEyqyP4O:DW3ckUiD3aPc:_Yyc:aUnciaec8O7EyUsl.

...Any team that can afford Manny Ramirez and needs a left fielder, but is justifying not signing him based on his "issues," is moronic.

...Serena Williams is not attractive. She is scary and mannish...So is Jennie Finch.

...Everything about PETA sucks. I both like animals, and like to eat animals. You really can do both.

-Juice

Super Picks

Sunday February 1
Tampa, FL
Cardinals (12-7) vs. Steelers (14-4)

Juice Says:

I don't even want to pick this game. I mean, there isn't really any definitive reason to pick either team. The Cardinals can pass. The Steelers play good defense. The Steelers can kind of run. The Cardinals can't run at all. The Steelers have a terrible offensive line. The Cardinals have Jesus on their side.

Really, there are about a thousand reasons to pick either team. My first instinct, though, was to pick the Cardinals, so I'm going to stick with that. Am I nervous that everybody seems to jumping on the Cardinals bandwagon? Yes. But, at least if it crashes there will be plenty of people around to help break my fall.

I've come up with three reasons I'm picking the Cardinals. It's only three because I'm afraid if I try to think of anymore I'll just end up second guessing myself. And who wants that?

1. Larry Fitzgerald is going to make at least one crazy catch. It's what he does. Sure, Pittsburgh can shutdown the Cardinal run game, but anybody can. There is, however, no way they will shutdown Larry Fitz for four quarters.

2. Two of the Steelers top offensive threats (Hines Ward and Santonio Holmes) likely won't be at top form. One because he is injured, the other because he will be coming off a week long Super Bowl bender. Guess which one is which.

3. The Super Bowl puppy. If Kurt Warner really promised his kids a Super Bowl victory puppy, he can't lose. It worked for Obama. Besides, he can't use the "mommy looks like a dog so that is kinda like having a dog" excuse anymore because Brenda Warner actually looks normal now that she has hair.

So there you go. Three overriding reasons the Cards will win the game. Take 'em or Leave 'em.

Cardinals win 20-16



The Kicker Says:

Steelers win. They will win the Super Bowl. But this brings up my other predictions.

I predict the best commercial will be a beer commercial. I predict three commercials will have scantily clad women, all with big breasts. I predict "Big Ben" will be average, but still get his second Super Bowl win. I predict that I will be really drunk by the end of halftime because it’s the only way to get through a Bruce Springsteen performance.

I predict that the Steelers will score first and last. I predict the Bag Boy will get sacked twice in the first quarter and the Cards defense will get shredded on the opening drive. I predict great things for next year’s Super Bowl because it can’t possibly be a more boring match up than this year. And last, but not least, I predict most of what I just predicted won't come true.

Arizona struggles to get Larry Fitz involved early and Bag Boy's lack of mobility kills them late. This was my best season ever in picking games and I guarantee* that my final pick is right.

*No guarantee made by The Kicker is worth anything. Any bets made because you followed this advice are stupid.

Steelers win 27-14.

Enough with the Steroids

Why is it that every few months we have to hear about a new steroids scandal? Does the media think fans actually still care?

We don't.

We're over the whole steroid thing, we really are.

Clemens and Bonds are out of baseball. McGwire is living his life of solitude. And, Jose Canseco is, hopefully, broke and homeless. So let's get over this whole steroid thing. Does it really matter if David Justice and Dwight Gooden roided up at this point?

We get it. There was an entire era of steroid users in baseball. That era is over. It is time to move on. Let the players who are retired be. The drug tests are stricter, and baseball is returning to its pre-steroids condition. Can we please move on?

Nobody questions when a NFL player fails a drug test, yet the media destroys the career, and sometimes the personal life, of any Major League player who used performance enhancing drugs. With or without proof.

Granted I’m biased because I am a baseball fan first and a football fan second, but I am of the opinion that most of the NFL is probably on HGH, or some sort of performance enhancing drug. I am not calling anyone out, but based on the size and speed of players, it seems they almost have to be on something.

Regardless, the double standard in sports is unbelievable. Nobody cares when a football player gets caught using performance enhancers. Yet baseball players are vilified.

The reasoning behind this is simple.

Baseball has always been considered the pure sport. We feel like we know the players because we see them 162 times a year, without a facemask to hide behind.

We invite these strangers into our lives for an entire summer, and we feel like we get to know them. We feel the ups and downs of the season with them. We feel like we are a part of the team with them. We grow a rapport, albeit an imaginary one, with them, and feel betrayed when they break our trust.

We think about baseball players as people, and football players as simply football players.

But that loyalty can’t be broken as easily as the media would lead us to believe. Barry Bonds is still beloved in San Francisco. And, no matter what, fans will still look back at the Sosa-McGwire home run chase of 1998 with awe. We can’t go back in time and undo the joy and excitement of ten years ago, no matter how hard the media tries.

Don't get me wrong, we want the game to be clean, but at this point most people likely groan and turn off the TV when Outside the Lines investigates the latest steroids rumor. We want this whole thing to go away, but the media won't let it die.

We’re constantly inundated with stories about things that do not matter. Be it steroids, or the unrest in the Cowboys’ locker room. Unless news breaks that Jessica Simpson’s weight gain is caused by her eating players the team cuts, I really don’t need to hear about the Cowboys until training camp. And, yes, that includes T.O. and his VH1 reality show.

Steroid stories, though, are even worse than football gossip. Fans have moved on. Yet weasely clubhouse attendants and personal trainers won’t let the stories die because they want to make a quick buck.

ESPN, and the rest of the media, are simply giving them the forum to do so.

-Juice

Growing Up With Sports

I grew up in front of a t.v. watching sports. This is to not say I had a bad childhood, in fact, I had a great childhood and I loved watching sports. I remember when our t.v. reception went out during Game 6 of the 1991 World Series.

My mom wasn't home so my dad took me and my siblings to my grandparents house to watch. They were not home either but we sat around the t.v., my siblings and I on the ground and my dad in the chair and we cheered as the Twins won.

I remember being eight and having a rat tail because I thought it looked cool, but I also remember watching the Vikings lose to Tampa Bay @ the Metrodome. (This is when the Bucs had awesome orange jerseys)

I relate periods of my life to sports. 6th grade will always be the year the Vikings should have won the Superbowl. (I'll never blame Gary Andersen, ever).

However, as I get older the players I relate life to change. As a fan I am more knowledgeable and aware, partially because I am older, and partially because I have the internet.

I know the ages of players and it's hard for me to watch the once vibrant young stars of my childhood (Ken Griffey Jr.) slowly fade away. It's hard for me to call college athletes "kids" because I am, in fact, older than most of them.

But most of all it is hard to not relate my life to sports as much as I use to.

Don't get me wrong, sports are still a HUGE part of my life. I am watching more games, looking at more stats and attending more events than ever before. But my freshman year of college isn't defined as the year any team did anything. I wish it was, but with so much other stuff going on it's hard to say that it is.

I will forever love sports. I will forever follow them at an unhealthy level. However, I can only wish for a time when I can relate events in my life to sports.

Someday, hopefully, I can relate my first born child to the Vikings winning the Superbowl. (For the 2nd time...maybe thats too greedy but I deserve it.)

If I cant, I will always remember the years of my life and the sporting events that go with them.

-The Kicker

The Heathcliff Effect

Heathcliff Slocumb.

Yes. Heathcliff Slocumb.

No, I’m not a crazy person shouting random names. Well, my sanity is debatable, but I assure you I have a point.

Allow me to explain...

I was sitting in one of my English classes yesterday discussing the novel we are reading. My professor made a comment comparing one of the characters in this novel to the character Heathcliff from Wuthering Heights. I have no idea what the point he was trying to make was, because as soon as he said the name "Heathcliff" I was gone. Lost in a world of Heathcliff Slocumb...

Now, you are probably wondering who is Heathcliff Slocumb? And do I have some sort of awkward man crush on him?

Heathcliff Solcumb was a fairly forgettable closer who pitched for several teams during the 90s. His biggest claim to fame was being traded from Boston to Seattle for a pair of prospects. Those prospects were Derek Lowe and Jason Varitek. And, to answer your question, no, I don't have a man crush on Mr. Slocumb.

My point is fairly simple. For those of us that follow sports, they basically encompass our entire being. I couldn't tell you anything I learned in class last semester. Hell, I probably couldn't tell you what I learned in class this morning.

I can, however, tell you, off the top of my head, that Kirby Puckett batted .356 in 1988, or that he won the batting title the following year hitting .339. Or I could tell you that Ken Griffey Jr hit 56 home runs in both 1997 and 1998. Or I could tell you that Paul Molitor drove in an astounding 113 runs while only hitting 9 home runs for the Twins in 1997.

There are an astonishing number of baseball statistics and facts ingrained in my brain. I can't do calculus. I can't fix a car. And I certainly can't perform heart surgery. What I can do, though, is rattle off random baseball facts and figures with extreme precision. Baseball Tourette's, if you will.

We all have random wells of knowledge. Maybe you can name every Oscar winner. Maybe you know how many number one hits the Beatles had. Or maybe you remember the very first time you successfully solved an algebra problem. Yes, that makes you weird, but I'm not here to judge.

I just spent the last 400 words talking about Heathcliff Slocumb afterall.

-Juice

The Myth of Momentum

The Kicker and I are sitting around in my dingy college apartment today watching college basketball: Minnesota at Indiana. With about five seconds left until halftime, Indiana has the ball. The point guard dribbles out to half court and chucks up a prayer of a shot.

Shtoink. Nothin’ but net. The Indiana fans go crazy as the game heads into halftime. The Hoosiers are still down by one, but that shot has got to count for something right?

It is at this point that I turn to The Kicker and say "I guarantee at least one person in that stadium just made a comment about Indiana having the momentum going into halftime."

Sure enough, the announcer makes the requisite "listen to this crowd, Indiana now has some momentum for the second half" comment.

Ugh.

Was the shot impressive? Yes. Did it give them any momentum? No. Are they still losing? Yes. Do you want me to stop answering my own questions? Okay, sorry. Enough of that.

My point is, momentum is one of the most overrated sports clichés; in this instance especially. Granted teams do feed off the energy from their crowd, and the joint was undoubtedly bumpin, if you will, but I guarantee they didn't keep up that energy through halftime. Particularly when you consider their halftime show probably involved their sweater wearing cheerleaders. Really? Cheerleaders wearing sweaters? It's not 1958; I mean, come on people. That would suck the life out of everyone.

The lack of the so-called "momentum" was evident at the outset of the second half. The fans were sweatered (you'll notice I like to make up words) back down from their high, to the normal noise level, while the Indiana players were far from firing on all cylinders. They kept it close, but were unable to capitalize on some key Gopher mistakes.

If "momentum" truly existed, the Hosiers would have run up a huge lead at the outset of the second half, and gone on to complete the upset of #20 Minnesota. As it turned out, they were unable to do so, the half court shot proved moot, and they ended up losing the game.

Now pro-momentumists (I’m working on my own dictionary) will argue that there must have been some sort of "momentum shift" in favor of the Gophers. Some big play that cancelled out the half court prayer. Well, there wasn't; just a lot of sloppy basketball, in which the better team eked out a win. But, more importantly, how can you even claim momentum shifts exist? Isn’t this just the back-and-forth nature of sports? Isn’t that what makes them interesting?

Every big play doesn’t have to be a momentum creator or killer. People just like to make up terms for things because sports are dominated by clichés.

If you want to make the momentum argument, then every time some big play happens, like the half court shot, you might as well stop watching, because the game is over. If games were really only about momentum, one big play would end the game. One big win would decide the championship.

Well, one big play doesn't always follow another, and one big win doesn't guarantee ten more. Sports, are all about unpredictability. We should all just enjoy that fact, and realize result A doesn't always lead to result B.

So how bout, instead of creating terms for everything, we just watch the games and enjoy the highs and lows? There are wins and there are loses. There are highlights and there are lowlights. There are winning streaks and there are losing streaks.

There are ups and there are downs; and, usually, they are completely unrelated.

So let’s all just learn enjoy sports, without having to categorize everything.

But most importantly, let’s put an end to cheerleaders wearing sweaters. I mean, seriously…

-Juice

What is Arm Strength?

Alright, the title might need some work but it's more of a point than an actual question. "What is arm strength" is me saying that the NFL scouts, draft projections and talking heads all over the nation are wrong on college quarterbacks.

I am not knowledgeable enough about quarterbacking abilities and all the other stuff needed to make an educated guess about which college quarterbacks will be great. However, I am smart enough to know every draft class has at least one good pro quarterback in it.

Maybe it's little Tom Brady from Michigan drafted in the 7th round. Did Mel Kiper Jr. say that Brady had the arm strength? Ran a pro style offense? Did he have "intangibles"? (Definition of Intangible from dictionary.com "incapable of being perceived by the senses"). So really, no one knows who has intangibles.

Jamarcus Russell has enough arm strength to hold up the world like Atlas (the Greek god) but he is a sub-par NFL quarterback. However, other guys, like Doug Flutie, are told they don't have what it takes to be an NFL quarterback.

So next time you are perusing the latest mock draft, looking at player profiles and seeing who will be the next Matt Ryan, remember that no one thought Matt Ryan could do it.

-The Kicker

Random Thoughts...

...Why do people care so much that the Dark Knight didn't get nominated for best picture? It wasn't the best picture of the year, and wasn't going to win; so why does it matter? (Juice)


...If no one watches the NHL, no one follows it online and the only people who care about it are the people who attend games, why is it considered as a "major sport" in the USA? (The Kicker)


...I really don't need to hear stories about the dysfunctional Dallas Cowboys for the next few months. They aren't actually America's team. NOBODY CARES. (Juice)


...Remember when pro athletes didn't get put in jail? Yep, those were the days. (The Kicker)


...Is there a worse week in sports than the one between the NFL Conference Championships and the Super Bowl? There is no football, and baseball hasn't started yet. We have to hope for a decent college basketball game. And yes, I would rather watch all the Razzie nominated movies (including The Hottie and the Nottie starring Paris Hilton) than sit through a hockey game. (Juice)


...Why is it that American's are obsessed with finding the "next big thing"? We have the best athletes in the world. They talk about a great 16 year old golfer. We have Tiger Woods. They talk about an incredible baseball prospect, we have over a dozen hall of famers playing currently. They talk about an amazing high school basketball player when we have Chris Paul, Kobe and LeBron. Let's focus on the now, its pretty incredible... (The Kicker)


...If the NHL and MLS (Major League Soccer - yes it exists) somehow procreated, would the result be the first "sport" where teams would have to pay people to watch? (Juice)


...Why do college coaches always leave a good program they built from nothing for a terrible team thats at a "big time school"? They didn't get into coaching for the money, the big time school has more pressure and a tougher conference. Just stay where you're loved. (The Kicker)


...Have you ever spent some time just looking at your tongue in the mirror? Tongues are weird. Try it. You'll see what I mean. (Juice)


...How hot is Lola Bunny from Space Jam? You know, for being a cartoon bunny. (Juice)

Not Just A Different Time But A Different (Sports) World

So I was cleaning out a storage room in my basement and found a box of old, dusty but in good condition Football and Baseball Digests. These magazines were filled with facts, stories and results from the week before. I paged through a few and was impressed with the content but had to laugh to myself. My Dad waited DAYS to get these.

I only laughed because I have on many occasions gone on rants when my gamecast wouldn't update or a games box score and write up weren't available ten minutes after the final second had ticked off the clock.

Sports fans in this day and age are spoiled. I can follow every professional game. I can get live updates of the Australian Open, the Olympics or any other sporting event. I can get texts to my phone for the rare moments I am not watching the game or near a computer. Not to mention people can access the internet from their phone. (Crackberry's anyone?)

I recently spent a weekend with no internet and it was painful to have to watch the sports ticker and wait to see the results. Not to mention I didn't get a full box score until the next morning in the newspaper.

We are in a time where sports are followed more closely, and at a greater rate, because you can watch, listen to or follow any game, event or match ever.

This is a beautiful time. So next time your internet is slow, your gamecast freezes or your satellite T.V. cuts out, just take a minute to reflect on how ridiculous sports fans have become...then swear at technology, text your friends for updates and pace around the room as you wait for them to text back as you frantically click refresh because your internet might be working again.

-The Kicker

Price Out

When most people talk about the economic recession, they speak of bad mortgages, ever-shrinking bank accounts, and a tumbling stock market; and rightfully so. These are the things most important to the majority of Americans.

One of the often overlooked industries that we are being priced out of, however, is professional sports. An industry that takes a backburner to more pressing issues is one that many of us care (oftentimes too) deeply about.

The average fan can rarely afford tickets anymore, and the tickets they can afford are often in the furthest nether regions of the stands. For many people it becomes nearly impossible to justify spending the money on decent seats.

For those of us that spend hours watching Sportscenter, playing fantasy sports, and surfing the web for the latest info on our team, we are blindly following an industry that seems to not care if we exist. We make the industry tick by buying merchandise and attending games. So why don’t they care that we can no longer afford to do so?

The New York Yankees, for example, will be opening a new stadium in the spring. Notorious for their rabid fanbase, they will charge $2,500 to sit behind home plate. Yes, $2,500 for one ticket.
They expect $2,500 for one ticket when many people can’t even afford to spend $25.

At some point we will stop showing up. We will draw the line in the sand, and just stay home to watch the games on TV.

We may not stop watching, but we will stop paying. And when we are finally priced out, and do stop paying, who will be there to keep sports alive?

-Juice

Not So Super Bowl

Well the Super Bowl is set. Steelers vs. Cardinals. Yawn.

Sorry to say, but this Super Bowl may be the least interesting in years. There is no storyline to latch on to. Worst of all, we have the extra week of listening to the media try and hype an unhypeable (yes, I just made up a word) game.

Oh, we will get plenty of stories about the underdog, Cinderella, "Nobody believed in us" Cardinals making their first Super Bowl in franchise history. (They won the league championship in 1947 as the Chicago Cardinals, but that was pre-Super Bowl). But are they really THAT much of an underdog?

The only way the underdog angle truly works is if the so-called "underdog" is going up against a vastly superior team. For example, in 2001 when "The Bag Boy" and the heavily favored St. Louis Rams were upset by Tom "Dreamy" Brady and the New England Patriots. And, yes, I always refer to Brady as "Dreamy."

The Steelers are not a vastly superior team, however. They are very good, and their defense is vastly superior, but overall they aren't a dominant team that steam-rolled their way to the Super Bowl. Granted they are better overall than the Cardinals, and probably should win the game, but they aren't so much better that a Cardinals win is unthinkable.

I would, if I may, like to digress here for a moment and congratulate myself on my magnificent comeback from going 0-4 on my Divisional round picks, to going 2-0 on my Championship round picks. You want to talk about a "Nobody beleived in us" type comeback, that right there is a "Nobody beleived in us" comeback. So I guess what I'm trying to say is this: Suck it.

Sorry. Moving on...

So throwing out the underdog angle, what is left to make this a must see game? If this wasn't the Super Bowl could you really get yourself psyched for a Cardinals vs. Steelers game?

The correct answer is, of course, no.

At this point the best thing to do is try to ignore all the misguided media hype and hope for a good game.

And, when attempting to avoid the hype inevitably fails, there are always the commercials to look forward to.

Wait, whats that? We're in an economic recession and nobody can afford cool commercials?

Damn. So much for being Super...

-Juice

Are you feeling kinda Sunday? Because we're not! NFL Championship Game picks

Sunday, January 18th


VS

Philadelphia Eagles (11-6-1) @ Arizona Cardinals (11-7)

The Kicker Says:

Wow. I am disappointed the NFC has come down to being represented by a team with a bird as a mascot. The Eagles awful rushing game won't be a factor. Not because the Cards can suddenly stop the run, but because the Eagles have an awful rushing game. It comes down to the Kurt "37 year-old, two-time superbowl champion, 3 time bag boy of the year" Warner vs. Donovan "A tie? Like my shoes? No, you're kidding me, there's no ties in football" McNabb. I will choose Donovan because I like him better, he never bagged groceries and he isn't old. Remember Favre last year?

Eagles win 24-14, led my McNabb, DeSean Jackson and other guys with random capital letters in their names.

Juice Says:

As The Kicker so astutely pointed out, Kurt Warner is a "3 time Bag Boy of the Year." Becuase of this, we have decided to dub Mr. Warner simply "The Bag Boy." No other namesake will be acceptable for The Bag Boy within the confines of this site, and hopefully beyond. Of course this point becomes moot if the Cardinals lose. Luckily for us, they will win. Not because they're better, not because they're more talented, but because they are the crappiest team left in the playoffs. And in the toilet bowl that has been the 2008 NFL Season, it would only be fitting for the biggest turd left to float their way to the top...Too gross?

Arizona wins 27-17

VS

Baltimore Ravens (13-5) @ Pittsburgh Steelers (13-4)

The Kicker Says:
Some people call it good defense. I call it boring. I love watching an elite defense against an elite offense. I don't consider Le'Ron McClain an elite running back, Desmond Mason an elite receiver or Joe Flacco an elite quarterback. Obviously any team led by Ben Roethlisberger is not an elite offense either, but with better receivers, running backs and a better quarterback, the Steelers have to win. I will take Ben and his concussions over "a young kid with a strong arm", which is all Flacco is referred to as.

Steelers win at home and their 3rd against the Ravens in the same season, 20-10

Juice Says:

I'm going to go ahead and disagree with The Kicker here. You can absolutely have an elite offense on a team quarterbacked by Ben Roethlisberger. The problem with the Steelers offense, however, is their top receivers are old and/or stoned, their running backs are merely good, and I, at 6' 1" 190 lbs could probably start on their horrible offensive line. With that said, I still pick the Steelers in this game. Flacco is going to do something dumb, and the Steelers defense will stop the run. As much as a I fear the wrath of Ray Lewis and Ed Reed, I'm still picking against them.

Steelers win 17-7

Random Thoughts...

...If Joe Flacco throws two back-breaking interceptions, and nobody is watching, does it ever really happen?

...If you're playing Streak for the Cash on ESPN don't run your mouth about how there is no way Sacramento and Golden State will score more than 224 points combined. They'll end up going into triple OT and scoring 268.

...Streak for the cash may be the greatest invention ever, though.

...If Edward Norton and Will Smith are such good actors, why do they make such bad movies?

...If the temperature is -30 where I live, and it's 80 in Los Angeles, why am I still here?

...If the Super Bowl ends up being Arizona vs. Baltimore, what are the odds more people get up to pee during the game, rather than the commercials?

...If you are a professional athlete don't hire an ex-con to be your limo driver.

...Does the NFL really have parity or is everybody just equally bad?

...If you were ever being held hostage, would it be more comforting if someone called the police or Kiefer Sutherland?

...Is it possible to be a bigger tool than the guys in the World Series of Beer Pong?

...Yes. You could be Rick Reilly.

-Juice

The National Pastime

"The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game: it's a part of our past, Ray. It reminds of us of all that once was good and it could be again."

-James Earl Jones as Terrance Mann in Field of Dreams

There is no debate when it comes to the most popular sport in this country. It's football.

Nobody can, or would, try to argue this.

I take no issue with this fact. I, too, like football. What I do take issue with, however, is when people suggest that football is now the National Pastime.

Baseball is, and always will be, the National Pastime. This will never change.

Baseball is about the history. The numbers. Yes, some of those numbers have been tainted in the "Steroid Era," but every fan remembers the truly important figures. 755. 61. .406. 56. These numbers really mean something. Football cannot say the same.

Nobody remembers the statistics in football. Nobody remembers them because football isn't about history. Football is about the biggest, strongest, fastest guys making the biggest, strongest, loudest tackles.

People watch football completely for a source of entertainment. People watch baseball for a sense of history.

Take the Super Bowl for example. It is an event. It is a show. Afterwards people talk about the biggest plays, the hardest hits, and the commercials. Nobody tries to put the game in historical perspective, because nobody cares about the historical perspective.

Baseball is different. The World Series is about history. It's about Gibson's home run, Larsen's perfect game, and Morris's 10 inning shutout. People want to know how each World Series stacks up against the rest.

We've been missing this the last few years because of lackluster fall classics, but even so, fans want to know how each series compares to those of the past. The "Slip-N-Slide" series in Philadelphia may be low on the historical totem, but we still wonder where it ranks in the great scheme of fall classics.

The reasnoing is simple: baseball means more, and on a greater level, than football.

Baseball is built on childhood dreams. Its about our heroes making us smile. It's about playing Little League and dreaming of the big leagues. It's about growing up and watching old stars fade and new ones burst through.

There is an aura surrounding the sport that football will never have.
Simply put baseball grows with us.

Football lives from year to year. Baseball is one long cohesive story. Every season a new chapter. Some better then others; but each with an undeniable link to the whole narrative. Where football starts completely over each year, baseball continues on.

While football will continue to wow us with its yearly theatrics and showmanship, baseball will continue to amaze us with its awe-inspiring subtleties. It will always be there to link us to our past, and allow us to gaze into our future.

It will always be there to "remind of us all that was once good and it could be again."

-Juice

Rants and Revelations

Today marks the beginning of my own personal hell.

I really love sports. I am obsessed and at some point I might need intervention. However, right now, is a down time. The NFL is winding down and has nothing left to offer me. The NBA is pitiful and my "hometown" team, the Timberwolves, would be better off if they were run by my 84 year old grandmother (In her defense, she watches even more sports than I do and has an odd knowledge of the NBA). I am not a fan of pro hockey (no one is) and college basketball is what I am left with. I love college basketball but my Gophers only play twice, maybe three times, a week, and most nationally televised games don't live up to the hype (UNC @ Wake Forest did). But the worst part of all is two subplots in college basketball:

#1: The new three point line is annoying. It's six inches further back. Move it even further so it looks less weird or move the women's line back as well. Equal opportunity would be allowing them to miss shots from further away.

#2: Blake Griffin. He is talented, athletic but he bothers me. He is like Tim Duncan + Joakim Noah. The weird hair (orange?), the fact every announcer would marry him if he asked and the fact that he is going to end up killing the Timberwolves all make me dislike him.

And so here we go sports fans. I might be depressed, angry or down right suicidal until baseball, March Madness and the NFL draft pull me up from hell to the heaven that is caring about sports.

The Kicker

A Glimpse of Summer

Well, I went 0-4 in my weekend football picks.

Turns out the Eagles are good, everyone else was right about the Ravens, and Darren Sproles wasn't nearly squirrely enough. And don't get me started on Jake Delhomme and the Panthers.

But none of that matters.

The football playoffs are a joke at this point. Unless your team is still playing, there is not a single compelling reason to even watch the games. At this point I'll be watching the Super Bowl 100% for the commercials (as opposed to just 60%).

My Vikings are out, and there isn't anything even remotely resembling an interesting subplot with the teams that remain. So, naturally, my interest is beyond waning.

But like I said, none of that matters.

"Why?" You may ask.

Well, because today marks the beginning of the end of the baseball offseason. Today the Hall of Fame Inductees for 2009 were announced.

There is plenty of room to argue about the guys that missed the cut (Bert Blyleven, Jack Morris), and the guys that made it (How does Jim Rice get in but Andre Dawson doesn't?). But I won't bore you with those same, tired debates.

Today we should all just bask in the glory of two simple truths: baseball is coming, and Rickey "Greatest of All Time" Henderson's Hall of Fame Speech will, without a doubt, be the most compelling television (or live if you are lucky) moment of the summer.

The announcement of the Hall of Fame Inductees is a reason to celebrate every season. It reminds us that baseball is coming. This year we just happen to get the added bonus relishing the thought of Rickey at the podium in Cooperstown.

With or without Rickey, though, this day is one shining light at the end of a very long, very dark, VERY cold winter tunnel. But, when the snow finally melts away, and the grass finally thaws, I'll be ready for another long, warm, glorious summer of baseball.

Pitchers and catchers reporting is still about a month away. But today that doesn't seem quite so long. Today we remember that baseball is alive and well; waiting to save us from the purgatory that is the NFL.

-Juice

NFL Divisional Playoff Picks

Saturday, Jan. 10th
Baltimore Ravens (12-5) @ Tennessee Titans (13-3)
The Kicker Says:
I like the Ravens in this matchup. I choked and went 0-4 in my family pick pool last week after dominating the regular season but I will turn it around this week. Tennessee has an inept offense and even though they won 13-10 earlier in the year rookie quarterback Joe Flacco has progressed greatly since then. It comes down to defense and the Ravens have been on fire as of late led by All-Pro safety Ed Reed. And anyone who picks against Ray Lewis is asking to be killed. Literally killed by Ray Lewis.
Ravens win 24-13

Juice Says:
Everybody's choosing the Ravens. Erego the Titans will win. It's that simple.
Titans win 17-10

Arizona Cardinals (10-7) @ Carolina Panthers (12-4)
The Kicker Says:
Arizona struggles on the road. They struggle against strong running teams. They struggle in the eastern time zone (where Carolina is for those of you who struggle with U.S. geography). All this adds up to the Panthers putting a hurting on the NFC West Champions and ending their season. Anquan Boldin is battling a hamstring injury the vaunted Cardinals passing game will struggle and the Panthers will run their defense off the field.
Panthers win 31-10

Juice Says:
First of all, Kurt Warner's gloves drive me crazy. I hate it. Take the glove off your throwing hand you stupid hack. Also, you aren't actually good you just have good receivers. I could win with Fitzgerald, Boldin, and Breaston. With Boldin being hurt, Warner's lack of talent, and the Panthers being vastly superior, Carolina will cruise.
Panthers win 41-24

Sunday, Jan. 11th
San Diego Chargers (9-8) @ Pittsburgh Steelers (12-4)
The Kicker Says:
A tough one to pick since I was sure Indianapolis was going to make a run to the Super Bowl. Anyway, I will pick the Steelers to win because they have a great defense and a game in Pittsburgh in January means cold, wind and possibly snow. The Chargers are without LaDainian Tomlinson and will struggle to surprise the Steelers with backup Darren Sproles. Also, the strong run defense of the Steelers will contain the diminutive back. The one variable is Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger suffered his 3rd concussion two weeks ago and may not play the whole game or play up to his normal standards. Does a win count if the quarterback doesn't remember? What if it doesn't? Does Troy Aikman get a ton of credit for not remembering his games but still being a good announcer? I'll look into it.
Steelers win 24-20

Juice Says:
I like Sproles. He's squirrely. Not as squirrely as our friend Scott, but I digress. I feel like Big Ben's head being something resembling pudding at this point is not a good sign. As much as Phillip Rivers and the Chargers annoy me, and I want to pick against them, I'm going to make them my Upset Special of the Week. Also I would like to trademark "Upset Special of the Week" so someone should do that for me.
Chargers win 20-17

Philadelphia Eagles (10-6-1) @ New York Giants (12-4)
The Kicker Says:
The Eagles beat my Vikings last week on the road but that is not saying much. Any team who struggled to a tie @ Cincinnatti (then had a quarterback who didn't know ties existed) is not destined for much. The Eagles struggle on the road and if not for a screen pass that scored a 70+ yard touchdown the Eagles might already done. They did beat the Giants in week 15 but the Giants were done caring at that point. As for the Giants they should be able to run the ball and any adverse weather conditions shouldn't affect their running game. Despite this I pick the Eagles because of how annoying Eli Manning is in the Double Stuf Oreo commercials. He ruins it.
In an upset...Eagles win 20-13

Juice Says:
The Eagles aren't actually good. I don't care what you say. They aren't. Although Andy Reid's beard is magnificent, and Donovan McNabb is pretending to be care again. The Giants will pull this one out, however, in honor of Plaxico Burress. Win one for the gimper. Wait thats not right...
Giants win 28-24

Recap
The Kicker Says:
Ravens over Titans 24-13
Panthers over Cardinals 31-10
Steelers over Chargers 24-20
Eagles over Giants 20-13

Juice Says:
Titans over Ravens 17-10
Panthers over Cardinals 41-24
Chargers over Steelers 20-17
Giants over Eagles 28-24

A Friendly Hello to All

Yes, this is a boring, cliche welcome to our blog post. We are starting this blog because we are bored, lonely, and have no friends. Plus we like sports.

Through our posts we will attempt, although likely fail, to provide witty commentary and interesting banter. Most of the things on this site will be sports related, but we might branch out into other things from time-to-time. Who knows?

We hope to put up videos of our banter fairly soon to go along with our outstanding penmanship. However, we aren't very smart and have yet to figure out how to use a video camera. We are also lazy; so expect the videos to show up sometime in the next 1-3 years.

We are fully aware that we may not be nearly as interesting and entertaining as we think, and nobody may ever come across this site. That's fine. We are easily amused, and if nothing else it should entertain the two of us. At least until our attention spans give out.

Otherwise, if you would be so kind, please help us out by perusing our site and telling your friends about us. You may be entertained.

And, I promise, your support will not go unnoticed. At least until we become rich and famous and quickly forgot all the little people that helped us along the way.

-Juice and The Kicker