For this list, I'm running down the "top" one hit wonders. I defined "top" based one or more of these three criteria:
1. Popularity
2. How ridiculous/annoying/catchy the song is
3. Songs I like (Most of the songs I like because they are so ridiculous and stupid it makes me laugh)
So then let’s get to the list.
10. "Graduation" - Vitamin C
Remember the television channel The Box? Yeah, I blame the box for a very large percentage of this list. In some cases I would say thank them, but this is definitely not one of those cases. Vitamin C wins the all time award for “obviousness.” This is the most obviously blatant way of saying “I’m going create a song that will be sung as the graduation song at high schools for the rest of time. I wonder what I should call it…oh! I know! Graduation!” By the way, if your class actually used this song at graduation, you are all going to end up homeless or in prison.
9. "Closing Time" – Semisonic
I actually like this song. With that said, I don’t think I’ve heard any other Semisonic songs so I’m sure they are all terrible, but I enjoy this one. I suppose if you are going to have a one hit wonder you might as well make it an actually decent song. Besides how can you not like a song about going to the bar, and trying to get in some girls pants? It’s like art imitating life imitating art. Or some bull shit like that.
8. "Peaches" - Presidents of the United States
Peaches come from a can
They were put there by a man
In a factory downtown.
Those lyrics say it all really. Don’t they?
7. "I'm Too Sexy" - Right Said Fred
I dare say this is the most preposterous song on this list. If you have never seen the video, go watch it now. There is a whole lot of shirtless man, and homoeroticism going on, but it is totally worth it. Fantastically hilarious.
6. "Cotton Eyed Joe" – Rednex
Did you know the Rednex’s are a Swedish Techno-Country band? Because they are. Obviously everybody knows this song is Techno-Country song (who knew blending two terrible things together would make something awesome?) but they are also Swedish. This takes this song to a whole other level. I always assumed the song was sung by a crazy old man with a scraggly beard sitting on a porch drinking moonshine, and ranting about some guy named Joe. A Swedish Techno band takes this song to a whole other level. Maybe they’ll make a Mamma Mia-esque musical out of it like they did for ABBA. The only difference being that I would actually watch the Cotton Eyed Joe musical.
5. "We Like to Party" – Vengaboys
How can you not love the Vengaboys?
Remember the television channel The Box? Yeah, I blame the box for a very large percentage of this list. In some cases I would say thank them, but this is definitely not one of those cases. Vitamin C wins the all time award for “obviousness.” This is the most obviously blatant way of saying “I’m going create a song that will be sung as the graduation song at high schools for the rest of time. I wonder what I should call it…oh! I know! Graduation!” By the way, if your class actually used this song at graduation, you are all going to end up homeless or in prison.
9. "Closing Time" – Semisonic
I actually like this song. With that said, I don’t think I’ve heard any other Semisonic songs so I’m sure they are all terrible, but I enjoy this one. I suppose if you are going to have a one hit wonder you might as well make it an actually decent song. Besides how can you not like a song about going to the bar, and trying to get in some girls pants? It’s like art imitating life imitating art. Or some bull shit like that.
8. "Peaches" - Presidents of the United States
Peaches come from a can
They were put there by a man
In a factory downtown.
Those lyrics say it all really. Don’t they?
7. "I'm Too Sexy" - Right Said Fred
I dare say this is the most preposterous song on this list. If you have never seen the video, go watch it now. There is a whole lot of shirtless man, and homoeroticism going on, but it is totally worth it. Fantastically hilarious.
6. "Cotton Eyed Joe" – Rednex
Did you know the Rednex’s are a Swedish Techno-Country band? Because they are. Obviously everybody knows this song is Techno-Country song (who knew blending two terrible things together would make something awesome?) but they are also Swedish. This takes this song to a whole other level. I always assumed the song was sung by a crazy old man with a scraggly beard sitting on a porch drinking moonshine, and ranting about some guy named Joe. A Swedish Techno band takes this song to a whole other level. Maybe they’ll make a Mamma Mia-esque musical out of it like they did for ABBA. The only difference being that I would actually watch the Cotton Eyed Joe musical.
5. "We Like to Party" – Vengaboys
How can you not love the Vengaboys?
"The Venga bus is coming
And everybody’s jumping
New York to San Fransisco
An intercity disco
The wheels of steel are turning
And traffic lights are burning
So if you like to party
Get on and move your body"
Done and done.
Done and done.
4. "Tubthumping" - Chumbawamba
"I get knocked down but I get up again
You’re never gonna keep me down
He takes a whiskey drink
He takes a vodka drink
He takes a lager drink
He takes a cider drink"
That’s it. Those are all the lyrics to this song. Well that and “Danny Boy, Danny Boy,” and so on and so forth. Now I’m not saying having so few lyrics is a bad thing. In fact, it is probably a good thing. I don’t think I’m going out on a limb by saying Chumbawamba aren’t exactly the greatest lyricists in the world. Plus, when you are singing a song about getting wasted, it is probably better to keep things simple.
3. Jock Jams -Various Artists
Whoever decided to create Jock Jams was an evil genius. Let’s take every catchy, ridiculous, often obnoxious song possible and cram them into one CD. Wait one CD isn’t enough, let’s go ahead and make five volumes. These CD’s basically ruined sporting event music. Well, these and the Baja Men.
"I get knocked down but I get up again
You’re never gonna keep me down
He takes a whiskey drink
He takes a vodka drink
He takes a lager drink
He takes a cider drink"
That’s it. Those are all the lyrics to this song. Well that and “Danny Boy, Danny Boy,” and so on and so forth. Now I’m not saying having so few lyrics is a bad thing. In fact, it is probably a good thing. I don’t think I’m going out on a limb by saying Chumbawamba aren’t exactly the greatest lyricists in the world. Plus, when you are singing a song about getting wasted, it is probably better to keep things simple.
3. Jock Jams -Various Artists
Whoever decided to create Jock Jams was an evil genius. Let’s take every catchy, ridiculous, often obnoxious song possible and cram them into one CD. Wait one CD isn’t enough, let’s go ahead and make five volumes. These CD’s basically ruined sporting event music. Well, these and the Baja Men.
2. "Mambo #5" - Lou Bega
RIP Lou Bega. You will be missed.
What? Lou Bega is still a live?
RIP Lou Bega. You will be missed.
What? Lou Bega is still a live?
Oh. My bad.
1. "Summer Girls" – LFO
Remember the boy band craze? There was frosted hair and sweaters everywhere. Personally, I was always an *NSYNC man myself. As far as singles go, though, you just cannot beat “Summer Girls” by LFO. Check out the lyrics. They speak for themselves. Trying to describe the magnitude of LFO’s genius is impossible.
Honorable Mention:
“Bittersweet Symphony” - The Verve
“The Freshman” - Verve Pipe
“Breakfast at Tiffany’s” - Deep Blue Something
“I touch Myself” - Divinyls
“Whoot There it Is” - 95 South
1. "Summer Girls" – LFO
Remember the boy band craze? There was frosted hair and sweaters everywhere. Personally, I was always an *NSYNC man myself. As far as singles go, though, you just cannot beat “Summer Girls” by LFO. Check out the lyrics. They speak for themselves. Trying to describe the magnitude of LFO’s genius is impossible.
Honorable Mention:
“Bittersweet Symphony” - The Verve
“The Freshman” - Verve Pipe
“Breakfast at Tiffany’s” - Deep Blue Something
“I touch Myself” - Divinyls
“Whoot There it Is” - 95 South
-Juice
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