Random Thoughts...

...When did people decide it is ok to to preface something inappropriate with a justification and think that it isn't inappropriate? If you say "I'm not racist but (insert something incredibly racist)" or "I'm not trying to be a dick but (insert something really dickish)" you are, in fact, racist or a dick. Prefacing something with a pseudo apology does not mean you are allowed to say whatever you want. (Juice)

...I do not run the world but if I did I would make sure that McDonald's served Shamrock Shakes year round. I don't care what reference was made on The Simpson's, Shamrock Shakes are amazing.

Chief Wiggum: “I miss Shamrock Shakes, but they ain’t coming back ’til March.”
Lou: “You know, Chief, Shamrock Shakes are just vanilla shakes colored green.”
Chief Wiggum: “Well, I taste the flavor. It’s a very mild mint.”
Lou: “Well, maybe ’cause it’s a minty color, your mind is fooling your tongue.”
Chief Wiggum: “I know what I taste.”
Eddie: “I gotta go with Chief on this one.”
Lou (sarcastically): “Whoa, there’s a big surprise.”
(The Kicker)

...What's with the Mount Rushmore shtick ESPN is shoving down our throats? It is a cool concept but they have like 5 different articles dedicated to the topic. Do we really need to deal with the Mount Rushmore of every single sport? Isn't one Mount Rushmore of sports per state enough? I mean Idaho doesn't even deserve one, let alone one for every sport. (Juice)

...Why do so many people care about the NFL combine? I realize it's a huge deal that offensive lineman run slow 40-yard dashes, but for ESPN to report on it is annoying. Please stop. I will wait until the draft to care. (The Kicker)

...What is the appropriate distance when deciding if you should hold the door for someone who is walking behind you? Whenever I'm in that in between stage of should I hold the door for this person or not, and I choose not to, I wonder whether they are thinking "why didn't this ass hole hold the door for me?" And, if you are wondering, I absolutely think that about people who don't do so for me. If I am just a couple steps behind you, and you let to door shut on me, I will immediately judge you as an ass hole. And just remember first impressions tend to stick. I'm not asking for a full on open the door and let me walk in first, but at least give me the extra hard door shove so it stays open for me as I walk through. It's common courtesy. (Juice)

...How on Earth do the Cardinals let Kurt Warner become an unrestricted free agent? He is your one chance at not having a huge let down season. (The Kicker)

...I prefer my "Chunk" as a chunk, thank you very much. (Juice)

...It's good to see the Redskins spending money on their defense. It worked really well in the past with 37 year-old Bruce Smith (5yr, 25 million, played one season) Deion Sanders (7 yr, 56 million, 8 million bonus) and Adam Archuleta (7yr, 35 million, 10 million bonus). At least they didn't overpay for Albert Haynesworth (7yr, 100 million) and DeAngelo Hall (6yr, 54 million). What recession? Never heard a word about it...(The Kicker)

...Do people still use hair gel? Remember like 8-10 years ago when every guy was rocking "helmet head" and you wondered if you could snap of pieces of his hair? How many people still do this? I ask because someone sitting in front of me in class the other day was rocking the hair gel look. I guess my point is this: If you are still using hair gel, you probably need to seriously reevaluate your life. (Juice)

...Awesome website. Most of these shirts are worth buying...http://mypartyshirt.com/Beers-jersey (The Kicker) ...Once baseball has started it shouldn't be so cold and windy outside that it makes my face hurt - even in Northern Minnesota. The again, this is Minnesota, and last year featured an opening day blizzard. Still, cold weather is unpleasant. (Juice)

...I decided today one of my biggest pet peeves is when you get change after buying something and its Canadian coins. I hate Canadian coins. Yea, its only a nickel. But it's a worthless piece of shit nickel from Canada. Do Canadian people hate when they get American coins? I don't know and I don't care. Maybe this only happens in Northern states since we're close to Canada, but I still hate it. (The Kicker) ...I always get the itch to get out and play golf this time of year. Which sucks because I'm looking out my window and it is snowing right now. Golf and snow don't mix so well. (Juice)

...Has anyone considered that Manny Ramirez may very well be the real life Benjamin Button? He seems to be getting more childlike as he gets older; and, if this is true, he will in theory only get better at baseball as he continues to get older. At least until he gets so old that he is too young. Think about it. (Juice)

...It's like the real life version of being on fire in NBA Jam. (Juice)

Friday Fumings

I created the weekly Random Thoughts because I tend to spend a lot of time lost in my own head and I figured this site would be a good place to write down some of my musings. (And, yes, I stole the idea from a multitude of places so I’m not passing the concept off as original, but I like to think most of the thoughts themselves are at least somewhat original.) With that in mind I have some extra things I’ve pondered this week that I would like to expand upon a little more. Maybe I’ll do this every Friday. Expand upon three things from the week that I’ve been pondering. If I do that, however, I’d like a better title than “Friday Fumings,” but I’m feeling lazy right now and that is the best I could come up. If you have any ideas let me know.

And away we go…

1. Sage Rosenfells is not good.

Stop. Please. Just stop Vikings fans. Sage Rosenfells is not more talented than Gus Frerotte. He gives the Vikings about the same chance to win as Frerotte did, he just happens to be about ten years younger. Bonus points to Rosenfells though if he head butts a wall.

(Note: I am not saying Rosenfells and Frerotte are the same person, I am saying they give the Vikings an equal chance to win. This does not undermine my argument from yesterday. They are not the same person; they are just both not very good quarterbacks.)

I just feel like Vikings fans are trying to talk themselves into Rosenfells. For example I listen to KFAN's Powertrip Morning show podcast fairly regularly - the shows hosts are kind of morons, but it is mostly entertaining, besides listening to podcasts breaks up the monotony of internet porn - and they keep talking about how great a move bringing in Rosenfells is. Why? So he can throw too many picks and make bad decisions? I would honestly rather see Tavaris Jackson start over Rosenfells, and I dislike T-Jack more than most fans.

It just bothers me how ridiculous Vikings fans are. Come October, assuming Rosenfells is the starter, fans will be complaining about how terrible he is - yet right now they love him because they haven't seen him play, and inexplicably just assume he is a viable QB option.

What the Vikings really need to do is start over. Draft a young QB and sign a solid, veteran player like Jeff Garcia. This team can win now, just not with Rosenfells or T-Jack.

2. Silverback Gorilla vs African Elephant

So as I mentioned I frequently listen to KFAN's Powertrip Morning Show podcast. Well this week they ran an animal fighting tournament on their website, basically to have people vote on the animal they felt would win a March Madness-esque tournament of the animal kingdom.
The guys on the show spent part of the day today talking about how badly an African elephant would destroy a silverback gorilla (the championship match). This is absolutley insanely absurdly (insert several more adjectives here) ridiculous. Now, I realize how large an African elephant is, but they can't f-ing move. A silverback gorilla is one of the strongest animals on the planet, not too mention that has one of the strongest jaws on the planet. I don't give a damn how big the freaking elephant is, size doesn't matter if you can't do anything with it. All the gorilla would have to do is jump on the the elephant's back and the fight would be over. This drives me crazy.

Give me the choice between fighting an elephant and a gorilla, with a non firearm weapon of my choice, and I'll take my chances with the elephant before the gorilla.

3. The World Baseball Classic

Why does this exist? The players and fans (for the most part) aren't interested. Granted the fans in places like the Dominican Republic, Venezuela, etc. get excited because they don't normally get to see MLB players, and it is great exposure for those Latino countries, but all the tournament does is screw up spring training and throw players off their normal preseason routine. There is no good time to hold this tournament, so it just shouldn’t exist.

Now maybe MLB could drum up some legitimate interest in the WBC if they actually got the best players to take part. The United States, however, third and fourth starters are Ted Lilly and Jeremy Guthrie. This tournament is supposed to decide the best of the best; and, last time I checked, any roster that includes Ted Lilly and Jeremy Guthrie isn’t the best of the best.

The whole system is flawed, and there really is no way to fix it.

And besides, personally, I would rather watch spring training games than WBC games. Yesterday the Braves were playing the Astros in a meaningless early spring game on ESPN and they mentioned on the telecast it would be the only spring game they would show this year because of the WBC – I was bummed.

Maybe I’m the only one that feels that way, but I still don’t know anyone that is legitimately excited for the WBC. It may be a cool concept in theory, but it just doesn’t work in practice.

-Juice

"He's Heating Up"

Those were glorious words to me as I sat on the couch, Game Gear (am I the only person who ever owned one of these?) plugged in to the wall (Game Gear drained 4AA batteries in under an hour so plugging into the wall was a must) I am referring to NBA Jam, one of my all-time sports video games.

Granted, I loved Blades of Steel (NES)/NHL 94 (Sega), College Football 95 (Sega), Baseball Stars (NES) and of course Dale Earnhardt Racing (just kidding, I made this up, if its an actual game then I feel bad for anyone who ever bought it) but NBA Jam is the first in a long-line of memories for me.

NBA Jam is the two-on-two masterpiece that pitted all-star tandem's vs. all-star tandem's in a full court match up made for high scores, incredible dunks and of course, being on fire. All it took was three consecutive baskets with one player and your guy was unstoppable. He could hit half-court shots with ease, perform incredible dunks and take over the game. As basketball video games go, this is tops.

But as I grew older and realized staring excessively as a 3 inch screen was affecting my vision, I turned to a greater form of entertainment. This form of entertainment was College Football 95 for Sega Genesis. (I must have had the worst judgment as to what systems to get for Christmas) As alluded to in an earlier post, I still consider myself one of the top ten players in the history of this game.

I consistently scored in the 100's and I could do it on the ground or in the air. I knew every play and I ran them to perfection. My friend Swervey and I have more national championships than you could imagine and I did it all on the legs of Kordell Stewart. I almost lost once but I threw a hail mary (with Kordell obviously) ala 1994 to win as time expired. The best part was after you won a championship the school's mascot would run across the field. I loved that buffalo.

Next up is Blades of Steel/NHL 94. I only will give only two shorts paragraphs to hockey because its hockey but Blades of Steel brings me back to when my brother would consistently crush me in the game and the in-game fights. Usually a post-game fight would ensue between us and he would win that as well but nonetheless, I loved the game.

NHL 94 was none stop fun as I dominated with Ed Belfour between the pipes. He saved everything and with Jeremy Roenick, Chris Chelios and my gifted fingers tapping A, B and C I was a lock to win the Stanley Cup every year. Not to mention I was incredible at checking in this game and when you hit the post it made a very realistic sound letting you know you did.

Last, but certainly not least, is the most forgotten game of all-time. Baseball Stars was the first game to let you create your own player, your own team and give attribute points to your players. (All of these became crucial in sports games following this one) There was also an all women's team so girls weren't left out (They turned into the Kansas City Royals later on). The only downfall of Baseball Stars was that when you removed the game from the system you were required to hold down reset or else all information would be lost. Regardless, by winning games you could boost your players skills. There was free agents you could sign and build up and if you wanted to you could create yourself and make yourself the best player in the game.

This was a short list and I know I forgot some games (Jordan vs. Bird, Barkely's Shut Up and Jam, Base Wars, Super Punchout) but that is for another time. I apologize to those of you who never played these awesome retro games but you missed out.

-The Kicker

He is the Next...

That sentence can be completed in a myriad of ways. It seems every big time athlete who is coming up through the ranks of his (or her, I suppose) sport gets compared to a legend. Lebron is the next MJ. Adrian Peterson is the next Eric Dickerson. Hell, I was watching a spring training game just today and the ever-frustrating Steve Phillips compared Braves prospect Jason Heyward to Willie McCovey.

This happens all the time.

Of course, this phenomenon happens in almost all cultural areas. An up-and-coming young writer is the next Hemingway. Megan Fox is the next Angelina. Coldplay are the next Beatles - but only because they are also British.

I do wonder if this idea has permeated middle class society as well. For example, if a company hires an upstart young accountant to replace, let’s say, Bob the accountant (who was the best accountant the company had ever seen) do the other workers say "Have you met the new accountant kid? I tell you what he's a stud. He may very well be the next Bob." The more I think about it, the more I realize this probably actually does happen.

I understand why people make these comparisons, but it is also kind of frustrating. I realize people like to put things in perspective, and the easiest way to do that is compare up-and-comers to the past, but why can't we just accept that someone can be great at something without having to be exactly like someone else?

Let's use Lebron James as an example since the Lebron/Michael Jordan comparison seems to be the most common made these days.

Lebron is undoubtedly a great player, but he is obviously not the exact same as Jordan. (Quick digression: are we going to start calling Lebron "LJ" eventually? Is this a nickname progression? Starts with the full name "Lebron James," then we work our way to first name basis once we feel like we know him, then finally get to "LJ" once he gets older? Is that what happened with Jordan? I feel like he was called "Michael" at one point and now he is just "MJ." Someone should look into this.)

It seems at some point we need to stop comparing Lebron to MJ, and just start realizing that Lebron is a different, albeit great, player. There are similarities between the two: their intensity, charisma and likeability, and the way they seem to make their teammates better.

These are fair comparisons to make, they are/were both very good in those areas, but to say Lebron=MJ, which is what this boils down to, is unfair and ridiculous. Lebron should be able to stand out on his own as a great player, without having to worry about whether or not he “is Michael Jordan.”

Of course, the irony of this is in 20 or 30 years some young kid will be coming up through the basketball ranks and people will be saying “he is the next Lebron.”

It is a never ending, unfair, cycle.

For another example let's pretend for a second I had some sort of talent - which, of course, I do not- I would be flattered being compared to a legend of my craft, but I would still want to stand alone.

Here is a hypothetical question/answer situation:

Interviewer: People say you are the next (insert famous, talented person here), how do you feel about that?

Me: I am flattered that people would even consider me in the same breath as (insert famous, talented person here). I am a huge fan of him. However, I like to think of myself as a unique individual, and would like my work to stand on its own. I understand that people like to put labels on everyone, but I do not want to be the next anyone. I look at my work and hope that people won't feel the need to compare me to someone else because I would hope they enjoy what I have done, and are able to say he is great at what he does, but not because I am the same as someone else. I want to be great because I am me, not because I am someone else.

See, now if (if=when) I ever become famous, and somebody asks me that question, you know how I will answer it. It is on the record.

I guess, ultimately, it all just boils down to why isn’t a person being his or her self good enough? It really comes down to the idea that we are all unique. And, yes, I know that sounds corny.
Or maybe it is nothing more than a barometer deciding when someone has really become great at something. Maybe you are only great when you are allowed stand on your own in the public eye.

That, however, is pretty sad state of affairs.

-Juice

Quick Note

This site is now a steroids free zone. Unless someone breaks a story that either one of us is plunging needles in our pooper, we will no longer address the issue within the confines of Juice and The Kicker. And, if someone does acuse us of roiding up don't expect us to come clean. Deny, deny, deny.

But seriously, the steroid talk is done here. And yes, Juice has written two articles about steroids, but the last one was his last hurrah (albeit a rather poor one) against the whole depressing issue. So expect nothing but sunshine, lollipops and rainbows from here on out. Not literally of course.

Alright one rainbow.
-Juice and The Kicker

Look who's back back back back again...

Yes, that is right. The Kicker is making his triumphant return to the site. I apologize to my fans (both of you) that this site has become Juice and Juice. Since I last wrote nothing of note has happened in the national sports scene, but I still have inspiration for an article. So, with no further adieu here it goes.

The sun rises earlier every morning and sets later every night. Baseball Spring training has started and I have caught that bug (I watched a video about home foreclosures in Fort Myers, Florida and all I could think about was buying one so I could go to Spring training and see the Twins every year). But this article is not about Spring training, the World Baseball Classic or the NFL Combine (I did watch the tight ends go through a blocking drill...it was as boring as it sounds). This is about the NCAA tournament.

It is not March quite yet but the madness has indeed started. As selection Sunday nears every bubble team in America is waiting to see their closest rivals bubble pop as theirs solidifies under them into a spot in the biggest dance of them all.

I am a huge fan of this event and am adjusting my schedule accordingly. I'm completely serious, I will skip classes so I can see more games...good thing none of my professors read this site. This is the most exciting time of the year. Which Cinderella will go dancing? Which giant will fall? Will a 16 seed beat a 1 seed?

But what I love most of all is that I can watch 63 games, countless highlights, read endless articles and fill out dozens of brackets. So here comes the resurgence of The Kicker.

"You will never see any blogger in the entire country who will blog harder than I will blog the rest of the year and you will not see someone push the rest of the team as hard as I will push Juice for the rest of the season, and you will never see a team blog harder than we will the rest of the year." (Adapted from Tim Tebow's speech after the Ole Miss game)

-The Kicker

Somone Save Sports

Which is/was worse?

A. The current landscape of sports?

B. Last night's Oscars ceremony?

This is, of course, a trick question. They are/were both awful.

If you didn't watch the Oscars here is what you missed: Heath Ledger has a hot sister, and Meryl Streep has a surprisingly attractive daughter. That's it. Nothing else worthwhile happened. So don't worry, if you missed the show, you didn't actually miss anything.

As for the sports world, everybody just seems to be talking about steroids. Normally I would be happy to turn on Sportscenter without worrying about having to see stories about the NHL or NBA, but not if I'm subjected to an hour of Arod talk. Even Michael Phelps thinks this media coverage is getting out of hand.

At this point I'm basically ignoring sports coverage altogether. At least until Spring Training games and March Madness begin.

I would, though, like to give Tiger Woods props on the timing of his comeback, any little non steroid news bit helps. Although Tiger is pretty ripped. I'm not sayin. I'm just sayin...

Also, thank you to Conneticut basketball coach Jim Calhoun for this gem.

Aside from those two items, and of course my beloved Twins finally making a move this offseason, I haven’t been entertained by sports since the Super Bowl.

Maybe I’m just being naïve in thinking sports are supposed to be fun rather than depressing. Is it really too much to ask to be able to watch Sportscenter without cringing? Then again, with apologies to John Anderson and Scott Van Pelt, it is nearly impossible to watch cringe-free Sportscenter, even in the most entertaining of times.

Maybe I just need baseball to start again. That’ll pull me out of this funk. Of course, with the way the media works, we’ll probably be seeing the other 103 steroid names right around the time people start forgetting about steroids.

Or maybe I’m just cynical.

Either way, sports suck right now.

-Juice

Random Thoughts...

...Joe Crede is the Minnesota Twins new third baseman. (Juice)

...Is there anything more confusing than when two fast food restaurants have the same place to order? (Happened to me at a Taco Bell and KFC) I was confused and flustered. Could I order off both menus? It was mind-blowing. (The Kicker)

...So my bank switched credit card companies from Visa to Mastercard a few months ago. This isn't a huge deal, aside from the fact that Mastercard's customer service blows and I never had issues with Visa. The reason for the switch was members of the bank wanted the rewards program Mastercard offers. See, this is my problem with people. They want free crap, but to get that free crap they have to spend more money; so in reality they are just creating more debt for themselves. Say, for example, they want a free toaster and are only $75 away from getting it. They then spend $75 on something they don't want, need and will never use, just to get the toaster. So basically you just dug yourself into to deeper debt to spend $75 on a toaster that is probably worth $20 – and which you think was free. And people wonder why they have no money. (Juice)

...I hate when people add letters to words that aren't supposed to be there. It's espresso, not expresso, especially not exspecially, and don't even get me started on supposedly vs. supposebly. The prime example of this was when Dunbar from Real World: Australia went on some giant rant about an espresso machine – except he pronounced it "expresso." He probably said "expresso" twenty times in five minutes. This happened like two years ago and it still drives me crazy. (Juice)

...Joe Crede is the Minnesota Twins new third baseman – I just like writing that. (Juice)

...Also if you say "them" instead of "those," and English is your native language, you are a worthless moron. I'm like the ghost of Christmas future and I'm here to tell you that if you don't change your ways you will end up not only lonely and miserable, but a poor, stupid, drain on society. At least Scrooge was rich. You'll have nothing. (Juice)

...Why haven't we come up with a universal signal for "there is a cop ahead, slow down"? If you're driving one way flash your hazards so the people going the other way slow down. That's the new signal. (The Kicker)

...Apparently Soulja Boy is doing a concert at my college campus in northern Minnesota this April. No word yet on how many girls offered to be "supermanned" as compensation for him coming to the whitest place on earth. (Juice)

...It annoys me when people walking in hallways cut corners when making a turn. You realize people are coming from both directions right? If you make a sharp turn while driving a car you will run into oncoming traffic. If you make a sharp turn in a hallway you will run into people coming from the other direction. Next time someone does this to me I'm going to punch them in the head – man, woman, or child. (Juice)

...Joe Crede is the Minnesota Twins new third baseman – one last time, just for good measure. (Juice)

Spring Hopes

*I wrote this for a Twins blog (www.twinsmix.com) so it is centered on the Twins obviously. I figured I'd post it here anyway because pretty much everyone that reads this blog is a Twins fan. Plus, if you aren't you can just mentally replace the Twins references with references about your favorite team. The message still works.*

“…hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.”

-Tim Robbins as Andy Dufrense in Shawshank Redpemtion

Spring training is supposed to be the time of year when we get cliché stories about who has lost or gained weight, who is finally healthy, and who started a new workout regimen. Spring training is supposed to be a time to look forward at what is to come. Spring training is supposed to be about hope.

The last week, however, has been all about negativity – stories about the past and stories that are trying to kill the hope and promise of the future. Well it is time to change all that.

It’s spring training time. The players are coming out of their offseason cocoon, and flourishing in the Florida (or Arizona) sun. We can watch them grow and see the promise of the season to come.

This year Francisco Liriano will return to 2006 form. This year Michael Cuddyer will remain healthy. This year Carlos Gomez will harness his talent and live up to his promise. This year Delmon Young will finally shed his bad habits and prove he can be an all star caliber player.

This year someone will step up and take over third base. Maybe it’s Joe Crede walking in to save the day. Or maybe Brendan Harris and Brian Buscher take control and prove they can handle the job in a platoon. Someone will step up.

This year the bullpen will come together. No more blown leads. No more questioning who will get the ball to Joe Nathan. Each pitcher will find his niche and thrive.

This year we can look forward without looking back. Game 163 of 2008 is a distant memory, even if the sting still lingers. No more worrying about last year, because last year no longer matters.

This year we’ll be watching a joyous dog pile of Minnesota Twins closing out the final season in the Metrodome – a joyous celebration before a deafening World Series crowd. One last hurrah before baseball in Minnesota takes its rightful place outdoors.

It’s all possible.

It’s all possible because in spring training anything is possible. We can set aside our concerns and look forward to a season filled with unbelievable plays, unbelievable wins, and everything in between.

This is the hope that spring training brings. Not allegations and denials. Not finger pointing. Not anything but baseball. Baseball in its purest form.

And in that form we look forward. And we realize hope does still exist.

-Juice

Let's Talk About Movies

I’m mad at sports - mostly because I’m sick of hearing about steroids. So with the Oscars coming up I've decided to run a list of my "top ten movies." Yes, I realize this type of thing is one of the ultimate cliché blog moves, but screw off I'm doing it anyway.

My criteria were the same as any "best movie" list: plot, acting, how the movie resonated, etc. One thing I also took into consideration is what I call, for lack of a better (or real) word, "rewatchability." You'll notice there aren't really any comedies on this list because comedies are overrated. They make you laugh and then you move on, but they rarely stick with you. They don't belong on a list of best movies.

Also, before I start, I just want to say that people need to calm down on the whole Dark Knight thing. It is a very good movie, yes, but everybody overrates it. Heath Ledger’s performance was amazing, one of the best ever, but lets give the movie itself a little more time to simmer before we anoint it “greatest ever.”

Anyway without further ado...

10. Good Will Hunting (1997)

Excellent acting from Matt Damon and Robin Williams are the highlights of this movie. Williams also gets credit for being the non annoying form of himself. Robin Williams the person = annoying. Robin Williams the serious actor = surprisingly good. I also love this script and story.

9. Gone Baby Gone (2007)

I don't think this movie gets enough credit. I'm also a sucker for good crime drams. There are plenty of cookie cutter crime thrillers with cliché storylines, but Gone Baby Gone is both interesting and less formulaic than others of its genre. Also, props to the Affleck brothers on this one – who knew Casey Affleck would be good in a leading role? And who knew Ben Affleck was good at anything? (He was the director).

8. The Departed (2006)

Say what you will about the ending, but I loved every second of this movie. Leonardo DiCaprio and Matt Damon were excellent, and I always enjoy Jack Nicholson (even when his slurred Boston accent makes him sound like an idiot). And while the ending is...interesting, to say the least, that really didn't bother me. Plus this movie is two and a half hours long, but I've seen it several times and it never feels drawn out. There are no dull scenes. This is one of those movies that every time I see it on HBO, I watch at least part of it.

7. Requiem for a Dream (2000)

I like dark movies. This is, without a doubt, the darkest, most grisly movie I have ever seen. It is also the only movie on this list that fails miserably for "rewatchability" as I've only seen it once. But I loved it. I defy anyone to watch Requiem for a Dream and not be completely awestruck. I would also like to note that I hate everything about Marlon Wayans – and all the Wayans for that matter. They are absolutely awful in every way. Except in this movie Marlon Wayans is excellent. Who knew? I just don't know how you go from that to White Chicks and Little Man. Unbelievable.

6. A Few Good Men (1992)

I’ve never seen Unforgiven so I can’t definitively say A Few Good Men got robbed for best picture, but I don’t like westerns so I’m going to say it anyway: A Few Good Men got robbed for best picture. The courtroom scene between Tom Cruise and Jack Nicholson is iconic. There have been at least three occasions where I saw this movie on TV, watched the edited version for a few minutes, realized I owned the movie, tossed that baby in the DVD player and watched the whole thing from the beginning. If that isn’t the sign of a good movie, I don’t know what is.

5. Bull Durham (1988)/Field of Dreams (1989)

I realize this is cheating, but I didn’t want Kevin Costner taking up two full spots on this list. Plus, I can’t decide which of these movies I enjoy more. Besides this is my list so I can do what I want. As far as the movies go, the top “rewatchabilty” award is definitely a tie between Bull Durham and Field of Dreams. Every time I see either of these on TV I jump right in and watch the rest of the movie, and I enjoy it every time. And, if you are wondering, Bull Durham is a dramedy not a comedy, so I didn’t technically break my comedy rule.

4. Fargo (1996)

My homer pick. I love the Coens. I love their dark sense of humor. I love their characters. I love their storytelling. I love everything about them. And yes, the Minnesota accents are over the top in Fargo, but that is part of what makes this movie so funny. Especially to Minnesotans. This movie is vastly superior to No Country for Old Men by the way – and I thoroughly enjoyed No Country for Old Men.

3. Shawshank Redemption (1994)

Do I even need to say anything here? I mean if you don’t like Shawshank Redemption you are a bad person. Seriously, there is a direct correlation between disliking this movie and becoming a child molester. You can’t argue with statistics.

2. Mystic River (2003)

For being so dark and depressing I always enjoy watching this movie. Sean Penn is excellent, even if he is a complete tool in real life. Mystic River is fairly similar to Gone Baby Gone – they were both based on novels by Dennis Lehane – but Mystic River has a slightly more compelling story and features more powerhouse acting performances. Not a happy movie by any means, but those often bore me.

1. There Will Be Blood (2007)

Greatest. Acting. Performance. Ever. Daniel Day-Lewis is absolutely fantastic in this movie. It is hands down the best performance I have ever seen (yes, including Heath Ledger’s Joker). The movie is a complete character study of Daniel Plainview, and he is, without a doubt, the most compelling character I have ever seen on the big screen. He is dark, complex, conniving – basically everything you want from a main character. This movie is the definition of something you either love or hate. And I absolutely loved it.

Honorable Mention:
The Sandlot (1993)
Silence of the Lambs (1991)
Donnie Darko (2001)
Dead Poets Society (1989)
Wag the Dog (1989)

Well that is my list. And, if you are wondering, this is exceedingly difficult to do and I struggled immensely with some of my choices. I may have forgotten some movies (although if I forgot them they can’t be that good right?) and, if I really sat down and took a lot of time to analyze everything, this list would probably change, but I am pleased with how it turned out.

I would love to see some comments though on A. Why I’m an idiot (within in the confines of this list preferably), and B. Some of your favorite movies.

Of course if you say The Dark Knight that makes you a tool.

-Juice

And with the first pick in the 2009 NFL Draft the Detroit Lions select...

Who cares? The Lions are brutal and the player with the most to offer won't be drafted. No, its not me (though I think I would look good up there with the commish trying on a hat and jersey).

Michael Crabtree (WR, Texas Tech) will get picked early. So will Matthew Stafford (QB, Georgia). There is no doubt in my mind plenty of spectacular players will be drafted, but the most athletic player, the most game-breaking performer will not be one of them.

Folks, today I want to discuss He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named. The evil, despicable and downright awful #7. Yes, Michael Vick*.

Michael Vick was before his time just like Fran Tarkenton. Vick can run, run and run. He is not a great quarterback in the conventional sense, but what's conventional about modern day sports? We have steroids, collective bargaining agreements and billion dollar stadiums. What's conventional about the newest little wrinkle in every team's offense, the Wildcat?

You might as well call it the Vick. This offense was created for him. He can line up under center and hand the ball off (Minnesota Vikings, are you listening? Please God let Zygi, Brad and the mustaches see this) to a running back. But if you're the Vikings (are you reading this Mr. Wilf?) and the defense puts eight in the box, you can bootleg Vick and let him use his legs (any team can do this but the Vikings see more eight and nine man fronts than any team in the league).

Also, Vick is an exceptional passer compared to the average NFL running back. The Wildcat could be used 10 times a game with Vick under center, lined up in the backfield or as a wide receiver. He could catch the ball on a slant and be like Devin Hester. He could run the halfback toss, reverses or catch bubble screens when not in the Wildcat. He could even catch a backwards pass and re-throw the ball. Michael Vick, in the right offense, is the best weapon available. (I don't feel like explaining that he could also return punts and kicks, oh wait, I just did).

Yes this offense is gimmicky. Yes it is like a college team and college offenses don't work in the NFL usually. But this is an unusual time. You may dismiss this article but I am right. I stand firmly behind (Vick has heard those words plenty of times while showering lately...sorry, I had to get one prison joke in) my thoughts because with the right offensive coordinator, a capable quarterback, a consistent defense and a solid running game this offense could win a Superbowl because no one is athletic enough to handle Vick one on one and when he starts to get more attention the rest of the field is vulnerable.

So please fans, when Michael Vick gets signed, don't be upset. Unless its because he wasn't signed by your team.

-The Kicker

*Disclaimer: The Kicker does not condone the actions of Mr. Vick nor consider him a great role model.

Random Thoughts...

...I was studying for a test in one of my English classes the other day on Sparknotes. Yes studying. Anyway, apparently they have those stupid "how greedy are you" and "are you a jerk" quiz things on their site. I am a sucker for those quizzes. So I take one that at the end guesses what gender you are. It was only 8% sure I'm a man. In response, I challenged someone bigger than me to a fight to up my "man cred." I am now eating out of a straw and typing with one hand, and my man percentage has dropped to 5%. I hate you Sparknotes.

...It drives me crazy when people listening to their Ipod feel the need to speak louder. I'm not the one on my Ipod moron. Stop yelling. I can hear you just fine.

....You should watch Friday Night Lights. The television show, not the movie. The movie is good. The show is great.

...Valentines Day is the dumbest "holiday" ever. It's even more consumeristic (apparently that actually is a word) than Christmas. It's a fake holiday dreamed up by corporations like Hallmark to sell stupid crap that nobody needs. "Here, hon, here are some flowers which symbolize my love. Oh, by the way, they'll be dead in a week."

...If you haven't seen Joaquin Phoenix's interview on Letterman you should watch it. The whole thing is probably a hoax, but it is still awesome.

...Minnesota is facing an $8 billion budget defecit and Lester Bagley, the Viking's vice president of public affairs and stadium development (yes, apparently that is a real job), decided this was a good time to complain about the lack of progress towards a new Vikings stadium. I haven't seen timing that bad since Riggins waited until Lyla found Jesus to ask her out in season two of Friday Night Lights. See, if you were watching the show, you would get that joke.

...Most awkward. Story. Ever.

...How stupid is the NBA celebrity game during All Star weekend? I once saw Richard Jefferson try as hard as he possibly could in one of those games. Congratulations, you are an NBA player that dominated a bunch of white actors.

...It's also kind of funny when people get so riled up about who got snubbed from all star games. Nobody even remembers who made the teams a week later. And, yes, I am as guilty of this as anyone.

...And lastly, if you were looking for another reason to envy Leonardo DiCaprio, he is dating the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit cover model.

-Juice

Baseball Dreams

*Just a little note before you start reading this. Technically, this is a speech, so it's written to be spoken out loud (a little definition of speech for our less educated readers). With that in mind, for full effect, picture my beautiful mug spouting out the following 800 words. And, if you are wondering, my delivery was damn good, didn't slip up once. Although my professor looked a little perturbed when I said "prick..."


I grew up on a baseball field. A dusty diamond of endless dreams. In the confines of those two white lines, on bases ninety feet apart, I was lost in my own little world. Anything was possible on the baseball field; where time stands still and hopes and dreams are limitless.

Every summer day was exactly the same. Baseball. Soaked in sunshine or drenched in rain, it didn’t matter. There was a game to play.

The players were made up of eight neighborhood kids: me, my two brothers, and five of our friends - the core group that played everyday. And don’t get me wrong, it was every day. Eight players though, was just the minimum. Each day would see a constant merry-go-round of kids that would come in out of our game. Strangers, friends of friends, anyone could play. That cast of characters changed, but the eight never did.

The field itself wasn’t much to look at. The weeds nearly overtook the infield dirt, and the outfield grass was borderline grass at best. It was really nothing more than a diamond shaped dirt patch sprouting a sky high chain link backstop. The field was snuggled into a quaint little park in our middle class neighborhood, but was the type of the place the city was too busy to properly upkeep.

Although to us, it was Yankee stadium, and it was all ours. Our sanctuary of endless possibility.
The games would last for hours. Time never mattered. When you are a kid you have all the time in the world. The score? Who cares? The inning? Doesn’t matter. Ball four? No way, I’m not taking a walk. Time to come home for dinner? Alright, alright I’m coming.

It really was The Sandlot – well, minus the beast. We were a throwback to the days of old, when kids went outside and played. While other kids were inside with Mario and Luigi, we were outside laughing, running, cussing, spitting – playing. We were having fun and dreaming big. Nothing else in the world mattered.

People say nothing is perfect, and yet, everything back then was. We had no cares.

And yes, there was conflict, but it always got resolved. That was part of the process; learning to deal with one another. Only once did that conflict escalate.

My friend Joel was on the mound and I was at the plate. Joel was kind of the trouble maker of the group. Although, I was a cocky prick in my own right, so we tended to butt heads. During this particular game, for reasons that were not clear then, and are even less clear years later, we were having a spat. Joel took offense to something I said (although it couldn’t have been that bad, after all I was eight). He then planted what, to an eight year old, seemed a blazing fastball in my ribs. I charged at him with blind rage, my eyes burning with hate, ready to destroy. At a dead sprint I wound up and swung a mighty right hook. Everyone else rushed to the mound trying to decide if they should encourage, or stop, the fight. It didn’t take long before the question was answered for them.

Blood.

Never before had our games seen blood. But I had done it. Ended the fight with one mighty swing. That’s right, all it took was one punch and the fight was over. The loser lay dejectedly on the ground.

That loser was me.

I had slipped on the dirt and cut up my arm. Yep, in my rage I both started, and ended, the fight. I had beaten myself up. The worst part was I had to go home to bandage up my arm so the game was over, at least for me.

But I was back out as soon as my wound (and ego) healed. Come the next day none of us even remembered, or cared, what the fight was about in the first place. Petty squabbles never mattered. There was baseball to be played.

That’s how it is as a kid, you don’t waste time worrying. Nothing really matters but having fun and dreaming big.

As we get older we tend to lose our childlike perspective on the world. I guess it’s inevitable. Now, we spend our days worrying about grades, finding a job, and trying to avoid homelessness in a floundering economy. Life seems to change from a childhood of hopes and dreams, to an adulthood of cynicism and concern.

But, as I think back to myself as a little boy in the confines of those two white lines, on bases ninety feet apart, I remind myself that life can be simple, and worrying gets you nowhere. I remember how important it is to be carefree. How important it is to dream.

What is life, after all, without a dream?

-Juice

Thank You Brett

I am not a Packer fan, or Jets for that matter. I am not a football "purist" who loved the gamer inside the gunslinger. I am not from Favre's hometown or home state. In fact, I disliked Favre for most of his career and at least twice a year, I hated him.

Green Bay plays my beloved Vikings twice a year so I will forever hold a grudge against number 4. He made every start, every play and rarely cost his team the game. However, I am not thanking Mr. Favre for leaving the game (for good this time?) he loves and gave so much too.

I am thanking him for saving all of us from the media and their relentless coverage of baseball's most recent steroids allegations. Everyone has an opinion and apparently we all need to know what everyone thinks.

I don't care. I assume everyone used (besides Ken Griffey Jr. and Manny) so when A-Rod, Jim Thome (he is an ogre), Frank Thomas (Big Hurt is a great nickname) and everyone else is accused, I still won't care.

I care so little, I have been avoiding sports. It comes up during college basketball games, NBA games and maybe even NHL games (if its talked about and no one is watching, does it matter?) but because of mighty Brett, the gun slinger, the man who is considered one of the greats retiring, we get a break.

No one ask if Favre used steroids (he might have considering his incredible ability to heal quickly, but if used for medical purposes I am not sure if they are illegal) but his arm was strong from day one, his passes unpredictable and his ability to start every game under center unparalleled.

I will miss Favre and his throws. How he did that stupid fake pass after EVERY TIME he handed off the ball. I'll miss John Madden dreaming of him and Brett getting in a bus crash (Madden doesn't fly so it cant be a plane) and somehow ending up on a island together but most of all I will miss that for one day, on February 11th, 2009, Favre made my day by allowing me to watch Sportscenter again.

-The Kicker

Greatest. Picture. Ever.

This picture is on College Humor and is easily the most magnificent thing I have ever seen. Enjoy.

-Juice

Media Assault

I came across an article today from New York Newsday titled "A-Rod or Phelps: Who's Worse?" The author of this article is a woman named Barbara Barker. And, Ms. Barker, I have an answer to your question.

You are worse.

You are worse because you live in a fairy tale world. You are worse because you think you are above it all. You are worse because you look down from your ivory tower and talk about two people you don't know, blaming them for all that is wrong.

You are worse because you represent everything that is wrong with the media.

I'm not trying to make Ms. Barker a scapegoat; she is far from the only member of the media taking this path. But I grow weary of listening to writers and talking heads rip on these athletes and say what terrible people they are. Michael Phelps did something stupid. Alex Rodriguez cheated. Get over it.

Young people do stupid things. They just do. Michael Phelps just happens to be in the limelight. Yes, he is an idiot for smoking pot and allowing pictures to be taken of him doing so, but go to any college party on a Friday or Saturday night and count how many twenty three year olds are doing the same thing. That doesn't make it right, but it also doesn't make it fair to hassle Phelps just because he is a celebrity. He is not a role model. He is a swimmer.

He didn't make himself a role model, everybody else did. He didn't ask to be looked up to. Why should he feel obligated to set a good example for your kids? That's not his job, that's yours. Raise your own damn kids.

And, yes, Alex Rodriguez cheated. He's a professional athlete looking for an edge. Again, this doesn't make him right, but at least he owned up to his mistake and admitted he was wrong. Now you're going to call him a bad person?

What about the 60+ percent of people that said in an ESPN poll they would take performance enhancing drugs if it guaranteed them $200,000 a year? Are you going to find all of them and tell them how terrible they are? Are you going to be one of the 30% that are lying to themselves and saying they wouldn't take PEDs, just so you can look down on people that truthfully answered yes?

Please, spare me the talk about these athletes being terrible people. You are no better. You don't understand their position. You just act like you do.

Who’s worse? Seriously? You are sitting there actually debating who is a worse person? Think about that for a second. You don’t know these people and you want to decide which one is a worse person based on one mistake? You think you have the right to make that decision?

Stop attacking these people like they’ve wronged you and everyone else. Stop acting like their bad choices have somehow impeded you from living a life of morality. And, for that matter, stop pretending that you have always lived a life of morality.

People make mistakes. Alex Rodriguez and Michael Phelps made mistakes. You can talk about how they’ve harmed themselves, and harmed their sport, but please, spare us the talk of how they harmed your children.

The media has become one big joke. How bout, instead of making judgments, you do your job. Your job is to report the news, shut your mouth, and let us decide for ourselves.

-Juice

Peter Press Maravich: The man, the myth, the legend

Born in Aliquippa, Pennsylvania, Peter Maravich was a stud (check out the video). I would bet my life savings the average fan couldn't tell you his middle name was Press (terrible middle name) but I guarantee they could tell you he was the "Pistol" (awesome nickname). Maravich played in a simpler time, before there were three pointers, ESPN and blogs (but keep reading, I promise this is worth it).

The Pistol was named because he literally fired from his hip. Maravich is the all-time leader in NCAA history for points with 3667, but he only played three years because freshman couldn't play varsity when he entered school.

Currently the top scorer in Division 1 is Stephon Curry who is averaging 28.7 points per game (playing the Southern Conference Curry is a man among boys). This is a very impressive number but compared to the "Pistol", it's pathetic. Maravich averaged over 44 a game. He didn't score over 44 now and then, he AVERAGED it for three years. Keep in mind there were no three pointers.

After the Pistol's college days were over, former LSU coach Dale Brown (led his teams to the final four in 81 and 86) decided to go back and chart every shot Maravich ever took. His results were astounding. The Pistol made 13 three's per game (this is honestly the most impressive of all his stats, imagine someone scoring 39 a game from behind the arc). Had the line existed Pistol would have average 57 per game. Even without the line he scored over 50 on 28 different occasions with a career high of 69 (which translates to 82 if he made his usual 13 bombs).

Maravich played at LSU for his Dad who taught his son from a young age. Maravich was obsessed and would practice by himself for hours in the driveway while being required to make 100 free throws before he could go to bed (he was 7). All of his work paid off in his first freshman game in college when he scored 50 points, had 14 rebounds and 11 assists.

Other guys in the history of basketball could score. Wilt Chamberlain comes to mind. But Wilt was a giant, six inches taller than the competition. Pistol was only 6'5" and is still the most prolific scorer in college history (before three point lines and a shot clock which adds possessions). I am too young to have ever seen the Pistol play except on old VHS tapes. Most of us are. Maravich died at the age of 40 in 1988 from a congenial heart defect no one knew he had, but is still remembered as one of the greatest college players ever.

Next time you sit down to watch a college basketball game and are in awe of a 30 point performance, remember the Pistol. He averaged 44, for three years, with no three point line. He was a superstar scorer who did everything else. Today I remember the Pistol.

Random Thoughts...

...If you are a high profile athlete and like hitting the bong, don't let people take pictures of you doing so. This is basic Facebook knowledge. The average idiot knows not to put that picture of himself doing a beer bong while tea-bagging his friend on Facebook; so why can't athletes understand this concept? (Juice)

...Gas prices keep going up. The price of oil keeps going down. How is this not addressed daily in the media, but there are 40 articles on Michael Phelps being a stoner? (The Kicker)

...Nothing should ever start before 10 am. This includes, but is not limited to, both work and school. 8 am is just too damn early. Morning people do not exist. Anybody who acts perky in the morning deserves to be punched in the face. Just stop. Seriously. You're annoying. (Juice)

...February is without a doubt the worst month of the year. There are no real holidays, it is still cold outside, and there are no sporting events worth watching after the Super Bowl. (Juice)

...The best thing about the internet is that you can look at any team's roster and find guys you thought were out of the league and look at how little they play. Thank you Al Gore for inventing the internet. (The Kicker)

...If there are two athletes that have the same name (i.e. Adrian Peterson (Vikings) and Adrian Peterson (Bears)) the less talented of the two should be forced to change his name. It would just be easier for everybody. (Juice)

...Sports books are amazing. There is so many of them that it is hard to keep up with the "best" ones, but I just read one called Minnesota Basketball and it was awesome. (The Kicker)

...I found out today that people from England can’t give blood in the U.S. Why you ask? Because they had mad cow disease six years ago. I believe mad cow existed in the States...so no one can give blood? (The Kicker)

...Espn.com had a poll asking how many years you would want your favorite team to sign Manny Ramirez for. The majority of people said they don't want Manny Ramirez on their team. Really? You couldn't hypothetically use the 35 home runs and 100 rbi? Seriously? I mean, my god, the Red Sox must have the best propaganda machine since the Nazis. (Juice)

...ESPN had another poll asking if you have ever passed up sex to watch a game. How would that play out? "Hey hunny, if you don't watch the game today I will sleep with you." With the response of "Yeah, sounds great, let me just turn off the triple overtime Super bowl and I'll meet you in the bedroom." Like honestly, that doesn't happen. You couldn't possibly watch most of the game and have sex because all sexual things last the same length as whatever game is on? ESPN, you disappoint me. (The Kicker)

Fightless Hockey? Why?

In my random online perusing I came across an article titled "NHLPA to Mull Restrictions on Fighting in Hockey." Now, I am by no means a hockey fan, but why take away the one thing that the casual fan enjoys?

At this point, hockey is no longer a major sport. It just isn't. It has a small, devoted base of cult followers (also known as Canadians) with a few casual fans sprinkled in.

Basically there are only three interesting things about the NHL:

1. The Stanely Cup. Not the games, but trophy itself. It's a cool looking trophy.

2. Alexander Ovechkin's ridiculous goal a couple years ago. That was surprisingly entertaining.

3. Fighting.

Now, a lot of hockey purist will probably say "well if you want to see a fight watch boxing or the UFC." This is completely different though. I don't want to see a staged fight. I want to see two grown men get pissed off and fight over something mundane. It's like watching a bar fight. Who doesn't love a good bar fight?

The problem with outlawing fighting in the NHL is this will alienate the casual fan. The casual fan doesn't like hockey. The casual fan likes the violence of someone getting checked against the boards--or preferably through the glass--and the retaliation afterwards.

Unless the powers that be have decided "screw it, the mass appeal ship has sailed, lets focus on our fan base," outlawing fighting is not the right choice.

And maybe focusing on the small fan base is the way to go. It's obvious that the NHL needs a marketing change. Maybe the best thing would be to fold every franchise in the south, and make the league a battle of the U.S. versus Canada. Everybody loves to root for their country, even when it comes to hockey.

This would generate more mass appeal, and even allow them to outlaw fighting, if they so choose. They would no longer need the fights to attract the casual fan.

The fact is the NHL needs a major overhaul, not a minor tweaking. Restricting fighting is just not the place to start.

-Juice

Living Up To The Hype

"He has better vision than Magic; and he is quicker."

"He competes as hard as and is as athletic as Kobe."

"He is the next Jordan."

LeBron James has lived up to the hype. I am not calling him the next Jordan--that title will forever belong to Harold "baby Jordan" Miner (former Miami Heat "star"). I am, however, saying LeBron has lived up to the billing. He cannot be stopped.

LeBron James is 6'8" and weighs 250lbs, but plays like a point guard. He has the ability to run the floor, defend the perimeter and the post. Not to mention he is a pure scorer. LeBron has taken over the NBA. And he is only 24.

He can score at will, defend the best players in the league and no one wants to try and defend him. He scores 30 a game and still is improving. He can develop a better outside game and, if he ever gets a supporting cast like Jordan or Kobe, he will be even better. Coming out of high school I never thought it was possible. The kid would stumble. He would fall. He would mess up. He hasn't. LeBron hasn't punched a teammate, had a picture taken of him getting stoned (Michael Phelps won 7 olympic golds stoned...?) and he hasn't been a bad teammate. No one knocks LeBron.

As far as I know, LeBron has few enemies. He doesn't have a posse like Pacman, a rap sheet like Pacman, a hate for dogs like Pacman (I assume he hates dogs) and he doesn't have an obsession with guns, drugs or strip clubs like Pacman. What I do know, is that a kid from Ohio was blessed with all the ability in the world, and he has worked to become the best player in the world. But while working he has become a stand up citizen, a terrific teammate and a blessing to a league that was in need of a true superstar. So to LeBron I say "you lived up to the hype, you didn't let us down, now do it for 10 more years."

-The Kicker

The Man-Ram Economy

I'm sure everyone has had enough of "recession talk." Honestly, at this point, if somebody told me there was a radio show or podcast called "Recession Talk," I wouldn't be surprised; which speaks for itself in the “topics that have been beaten into the ground” category.

It is interesting, though, how the economy has affected the sports world. So bear with me, and I promise I won’t ever talk about the economy again. Maybe.

Take a look at the MLB offseason, for example. Some of the free agents left on the market include Manny Ramirez, Adam Dunn, Bobby Abreu, and Ben Sheets; big name players that would get equally big contracts most years.

In this market, however, everything is uncertain, and teams are just not offering the long term, big money deals. It’s just not good business. Because of this, most players would be wise to take a one year contract, and re-enter the free agent market next year. You know, once President Obama's magic spells have fixed the economy.

Many players, such as Manny, are still intent on signing the big contract, however. (To be fair, Man-Ram probably doesn’t know who Obama is, or what the word recession means.)

The problem is most teams are just not willing to give out long term deals to questionable (be it for age, health, or attitude) players right now.

Now, granted, most people would say this is a good thing. And it probably is. Not because the players don’t deserve the money they make, necessarily, but because it spreads out the talent.

For example the Nationals will be more likely to take a chance on a short term deal. They have some payroll flexibility, and are more likely to take a risk than teams that have been burned in the past. And lets be honest, it’s about time the Nationals best player is someone other than a guy nicknamed “Da Meat Hook.”

Simply put, it is just much easier for a team to commit to a player for one year, rather than three or four. That’s not to say teams can throw around absurdly large one year contracts, but a short term deal is much easier to handle.

And, sure, the big names like Mark Teixeira and C.C Sabathia still received the big contracts from the Yankees, but the Yankees don’t think like other teams. Long term financial ramifications don’t factor into their planning. Although, we’ll see how well that works out when they are trying to sell their $2,500 tickets to former Lehman Brothers employees…

Really, though, MLB attendance figures will be the most interesting thing to see.

There are far more seats in a baseball stadium than an NBA or NHL arena, making it hard to compare the attendance figures. Football stadiums are comparable in size to that of baseball, but there are ten times as many games in a baseball season than a football season. This makes it a lot easier to splurge one time a year on football tickets, rather than five times a summer on baseball tickets. Especially in markets that are really floundering, like Detroit. Luckily for them, with the Lions, there is no reason to bother splurging on football tickets, so they can just forget about sports for a year.

Seriously, though, when taking a look at how ever plummeting bank accounts are affecting the sports landscape, baseball is the best barometer. If, come July, there are only 10,000 fans at given game, we’ll know for sure that fans really are cutting back. We’ll find out for sure whether sports are “recession proof.”

-Juice

Kicker's Corner

I really do struggle with titles but the idea of this post is to tell a story. Not necessarily a sports story, but a story in general. It might become a weekly thing, but I might forget about it twenty minutes after I post...but either way, here we go.

So I am sitting in class today and my mind starts to wander onto the subject of how much pro athletes make. (This article isn't stupid like the other ones on this topic, as I will not complain about their fortunes). OK, clearly pro athletes make a ton of money. According to Sports Illustrated (all figures include endorsements) the highest paid athlete is Tiger Woods at $127 million dollars. The highest paid athlete on a team sport is LeBron James at just over $40 million.

Now, I would love to make $100,000 a year someday. That would be a lot of money to me. That is nothing to pro athletes.

But what can I do better than anyone in the world? I can chug a can of Coke without stopping (is that impressive or sad?). I once won 124-3 in college football 95 for Sega when I was the number 2 team playing against number 1...if you're Colorado you can call a timeout and then a hail mary and run for at least 40 yards every time with Kordell "Slash" Stewart (does that warrant $30 million a year?). As you can see, I am pretty average...or weird. But my point is, these people are the best in the world at what they do.

No one complains that Warren Buffet makes too much on his investments, Bill Gates makes too much by being smart or that Will Smith makes too much for being in movies. So why complain about pro athletes? Tiger and LeBron are the BEST in the world at what they do. Tiger might be the best ever (I think he is) and he is getting paid accordingly. I am sorry if no one pays you millions of dollars to be the best Target manager, carpenter, teacher or truck driver in the world. If you are that person, awesome. I am proud of you.

Finally, these athletes make money because they entertain and bring in money. Will I ever bring in $25 million a year to my company? Absolutely. (Well, maybe not...) But LeBron does, Tiger does and so do plenty of other athletes. You pay to see LeBron. Everyone does. People love Tiger Woods. If we are willing to pay to see them, they deserve a cut (this is my issue with college athletes not getting a stipend or ANYTHING when schools and networks are making millions upon millions off of them...)

So next time you are complaining about how much people are making for playing a "game" realize they are the best in the world. Yes, even you Oklahoma City Thunder players. (Really? Thunder? are they in sixth grade?)

-The Kicker

Super Shocker

Remember in Angels in the Outfield how we learned God can’t help decide championships? Well the Cardinals put all their eggs in the God basket. When, as Christopher Lloyd so aptly pointed out, championships have to be won on their own. This is why they lost. Of course, if Cardinals fans had simultaneously performed an awkward angel arm-waving motion, that might have helped too.

Seriously, though, the Super Bowl was actually entertaining. How bout that? Always fun to choke on your own words...

Quite frankly I'm very pleased the game proved me wrong. I didn't expect it, but I hoped for a good game. As far as fourth quarters go, you’ll be hard pressed to find one more interesting; although, I’m not going to toot the “best Super Bowl ever” horn quite yet.

We should have known we were in for a good fourth quarter, though. I mean, after the awful batch of commercials, and three quarters of garbage football, we had to get some entertainment out of the night.

Through three quarters it appeared the game would, in fact, be a dud. The highlights to that point were seeing James Harrison possibly unconscious after sprinting 100 yards, watching a koala bear get punched in the face, and constant “penetration” jokes spurred by John Madden’s lack of a vocabulary. Needless to say, things were looking grim.

By this point, the Cardinal’s bandwagon was officially empty.

The fourth quarter, however, changed everything. It gave us everything we could hope for as a sports fan: a thrilling comeback by the underdog, several big plays, and a last minute drive to win the game. I will say, though, I feel a little cheated we didn't get the last ditch Hail Mary from the Cardinals. I mean you have to at least take a second look at Warner’s fumble, right?

As someone that had no vested interest in either team, the fourth quarter turned out about as well as possible. Even if the Steelers were unable to score on their final drive, the ending would have made up for the rest of the game. Fitzgerald’s two touchdown catches will mostly be forgotten now, but those two plays were amazing at the time.

The Cardinals comeback was more than anyone could have asked for. And, after spending two weeks berating the two teams and spouting off how about how boring this Super Bowl would be, I must hang my head in shame.

The only thing missing was a stadium full of awkward angel arm waving.

-Juice