Final Dome Opener

Monday was the final home opener at the Metrodome. The end of an era. Albeit an era of the ugliest and most ridiculous stadium in baseball, but the end of an era nonetheless. And you know what? I will miss the Metrodome. Seriously. It may have been a shit hole, but it was our shit hole. I saw my first Major League game there, and have countless memories stemming from time spent inside the mushroom cloud of baseball. There are some great memories from the 27 years spent in the Metrodome, and no matter what anybody says, they will miss that stadium. At least a little. Should we be ecstatic for outdoor baseball? Of course. But we should savor the years in the dome, and realize moving on is at least a little bittersweet.

There is plenty of time to get all sappy about the dome years, though. Now is the time to revel in the opening of a new baseball season. As far as openers go, this was the second worst I have ever been to. Right behind 2005 when the Twins lost to the White Sox and I almost got killed several times during batting practice. Screw off Carl Everett.

But anyway. Here are some pictures chronicling the final dome opener. Enjoy.

I realized on my way into the game I had never take a picture of the outside of the Metrodome before. Of course, you can see why. I would also like to note the guy in the foreground of the picture was handing out fliers begging for someone to save the Star Tribune. It probably isn't a good sign when your company is asking random patrons of a baseball game to buy your bankrupt newspaper...

Opening Day 2009! In hindsight I should have taken a picture of the swastika holding the dome up. Live and learn I guess.

Bet you didn't think the baggy could get an uglier. Oh and by the way, now that Dodge has fallen off the face of the earth, there is no Dodge advertising anywhere in the Dome, which also means they no longer play "Dodge Ball." Instead, they now have people try and throw a ball into a giant inflatable ice cream carton to try and win free ice cream. The lack of "Dodge Ball" may very well be the worst thing about the auto industry going in the crapper. Couldn't, though, The Twins and Stanley have come up with something at least slightly better to put on the baggy? That is atrocious.

The Kicker and I attending our final dome opener. I was going to crop the awkward girls sitting behind us out of the picture, but I thought it would be funnier if I left them in. One of them was from Fargo and at one point said "I was hoping I would get fired from my job during the flood." They weren't the sharpest tools in the shed; although, they weren't as douchey as the guys sitting next to me. We also saw a woman who was so fat that she may or may not have been wearing a tarp. Word is the Twins will donate the baggy to her at the end of the year, though, so that is nice of them. I guess when you get 50,000 people together in one building they can't all be winners.

Okay, so technically this picture is from last year's opener, but how awesome is that? He is rocking an authentic Yoda Twins jersey. And, if you are wondering, Yoda did in fact have a cup of coffee with the Twins circa 1983. He wasn't around very long because it turns out the Jedi Master couldn't hit a curveball. Who knew?

I have this absurd talent for always getting the top of someones head in the pictures I take. Maybe I can become famous by passing it off as art. You know, since 90% of art is shit. By the way I like the Twins throwback jerseys they are rocking this year. Sexy.

I always enjoy the beginning of games when they announce the starting lineups. There is something strangely satisfying about the crowd giving awkwardly loud ovations to Glen Perkins and Nick Blackburn.

Again with the random head in the corner of the picture. In this particular case the guy had awkwardly greasy hair. You can't really tell from this picture, but trust me, was it ever greasy.

First pitch of 2009! Man did we have bad seats. Although, technically, there really aren't any good seats in the Metrodome, so who can really complain? Actually, though, this picture makes us look further away than we actually were because it is so small. Although, we were also 100% sure that Carlos Gomez made the catch on Franklin Guttierrez's home run so 100% visibility was in fact lacking.

I randomly took an action shot of Morneau grounding out in the first inning. I think I was technically trying to take a picture before the pitch and just failed spectacularly, but the end result is kind of cool. Had I taken the picture a split second later we would have had visual proof that Morneau was safe and I could have created a blogosphere controversy. Oh well.

Ken Griffey Jr's triumphant return to the Mariners. It probably isn't a good sign when the highlight of the game was a home run for the other team. Griffey was my favorite player growing up, however, so it was kind of cool.

How awkward does The Kicker look? It's like Val Kilmer when he let himself go post Batman. And, if you are wondering, we took pictures a Twins construction helmet to symbolize our excitement for Target Field.

Hopefully they let the mentally retarded into Target Field...

-Juice