The Heathcliff Effect

Heathcliff Slocumb.

Yes. Heathcliff Slocumb.

No, I’m not a crazy person shouting random names. Well, my sanity is debatable, but I assure you I have a point.

Allow me to explain...

I was sitting in one of my English classes yesterday discussing the novel we are reading. My professor made a comment comparing one of the characters in this novel to the character Heathcliff from Wuthering Heights. I have no idea what the point he was trying to make was, because as soon as he said the name "Heathcliff" I was gone. Lost in a world of Heathcliff Slocumb...

Now, you are probably wondering who is Heathcliff Slocumb? And do I have some sort of awkward man crush on him?

Heathcliff Solcumb was a fairly forgettable closer who pitched for several teams during the 90s. His biggest claim to fame was being traded from Boston to Seattle for a pair of prospects. Those prospects were Derek Lowe and Jason Varitek. And, to answer your question, no, I don't have a man crush on Mr. Slocumb.

My point is fairly simple. For those of us that follow sports, they basically encompass our entire being. I couldn't tell you anything I learned in class last semester. Hell, I probably couldn't tell you what I learned in class this morning.

I can, however, tell you, off the top of my head, that Kirby Puckett batted .356 in 1988, or that he won the batting title the following year hitting .339. Or I could tell you that Ken Griffey Jr hit 56 home runs in both 1997 and 1998. Or I could tell you that Paul Molitor drove in an astounding 113 runs while only hitting 9 home runs for the Twins in 1997.

There are an astonishing number of baseball statistics and facts ingrained in my brain. I can't do calculus. I can't fix a car. And I certainly can't perform heart surgery. What I can do, though, is rattle off random baseball facts and figures with extreme precision. Baseball Tourette's, if you will.

We all have random wells of knowledge. Maybe you can name every Oscar winner. Maybe you know how many number one hits the Beatles had. Or maybe you remember the very first time you successfully solved an algebra problem. Yes, that makes you weird, but I'm not here to judge.

I just spent the last 400 words talking about Heathcliff Slocumb afterall.

-Juice