Kicker Hates..."That Guy"

Well, I was harassed by little Juice so I decided to pump out a quick blog entry. I refuse to call it a column or else we'll go bankrupt like every newspaper in America. (Unless they are like the Minneapolis Star Tribune who ask Twins fans walking into the game to buy the newspaper...good luck with that by the way)

Anyway, I was reflecting the other day about how many people I dislike. Now, unlike your usual racist/sexist/communist I do not hate real groups of people but instead types of people (that sounds much better). In this case, I hate "that guy". I plan on making this a whole series of people and you will all relate perfectly to everyone one of them.

The first guy I hate is "guy who thinks he is awesome because he was a great athlete at a really small school". I was on my campus the other day and realized my entire school is full of these people, but none more than this one kid. He walks around with his pierced ears, Hollister athletic shorts and cocky ass grin on his face, and for what reason you ask?

Because he was awesome at 9-man football. Yes, apparently that means something, to someone, somewhere and he just happens to be someone I see everyday.

This is the guy who when you walk into his dorm room is watching his high school highlight video with the skanky girl from upstairs to try and impress her. This is the guy who wears his conference champs t-shirt with the opponents name and score of the game on his shirt to class like 3 times a week. The shirt reads something like this: (This is football by the way)
Opponent Score
Pineville-Meyertown-Hickson 63-5 (yes, 5)
Davidson-Alberton-Dayton 111-7

You get the point...anyway, I hate this guy. I hate all guys like him. But most of all, I hate the stupid shit they say.

"When I was in high school we only had 18 kids in my class and it was fun". No, it wasn't fun. It was only fun because you had no other experiences and had to associate with the other douchey guys and ugly girls who make up your pathetic village.

Oh yea, another thing about this guy is he probably ends up dating a girl who is way to hot for him but only after she slept with 1/2 the guys on his dorm floor and they all know it but he doesn't. If anyone doesn't know the kind of guy I am talking about, I hope you can better relate to tomorrow's guy of "weight room guy". Let me tell you, I hate weight room guy.

Back to guy who thinks he is awesome because he was a great athlete at a really small school. He goes out for the college team and makes it but never plays, but tells everyone who doesn't know better that he is hurt or coach hates him. He makes sure to wear his team issued sweatpants, sweatshirt, under armour, shoes, head band, hat and warm-up every day he isn't wearing his high school conference champions shirt or his "weight room warrior" shirt from high school.

This guy walks around like he owns the place, he has the same look as Kobe Bryant when Kobe goes off for 60, but he has it because he graced you with his presence in your 8am history class.

I could honestly go on forever about "this guy" but I have finals this week and I was tricked into writing this by little Juice. However, I like this and even though Jim Rome has similar rants, mine will be different and likely more profane as time goes on. This might be a weekly thing or just happens whenever I feel like bitchin' about shit.

-The Kicker