The QB That Shall Not be Named

Oh shit dawg, it's the double post...what what?!

Umm...yeah. Anyhoo...This is my second post of the day, so if you missed my earlier one scroll on down. Actually this one has nothing to do with my other post, so feel free to read them in any order you choose.

Oh shit dawg. Let's get this party started...

Alright, this isn't so much a party, as it is me throwing my hat into the Brett Favre ring. I know, I know, everybody is talking about Favre, but I want to make my feelings known, and then move on from the topic forever. Much like the illegal substance that shall not be named.

As a Vikings fan, I want Brett Favre. He is a better quarterback then Tavarais "Tjack" Jackson and Sage "Interception" Rosenfells. But, then again, I am a better quarterback than Tjack and Interception, plus I have a better nickname. Although, I would probably have to change my nickname if I were to play in the NFL to avoid pissing off O.J. You know, since he kills people. But I digress...

Like I said, I want Favre. What I don't want, however, is to keep talking about Favre. He is nothing more than a narcissist who loves the media circus surrounding him. He has been performing this same old retirement song and dance every offseason for the last few years, moreso last year than any other, but that wasn't the first time he threatened retirement.

My biggest beef, aside from the simple fact that Favre dominates the sports airwaves, is that the "news" about him is nothing more than celebrity gossip. Don't get me wrong, I love celebrity gossip as much as the next person, but only when it is interesting. Stories about x-rays that may or may not have been sent to the Vikings, or stories about how Favre may or may not be willing to have surgery, are not interesting. If Favre decided his arm would no longer suffice, and he was having it surgically replaced with a younger, better model, then that would be news. But, since that probably isn't happening (or is it? Maybe I should throw that into the rumor mill) nothing about Favre is interesting right now. Besides, the reality is he just wants to stall until OTA's and minicamps are over. (FYI: OTA = Organized Team Activities. Why Favre wouldn't want to take part in any activity with an organization that once organized a sex boat is beyond me, but that is neither here nor there.)

Everybody with any form of knowledge believes Favre will sign with the Vikings before the end of the offseason, but those same people say he will drag the process out as long as possible to avoid any exta work. Why the Vikings are OK with this is a mystery, but whatever.

I'm just sick of hearing about Favre, and would like him to either go away, or just sign a freaking contract. That's all I ask.

So starting now, Favre becomes the QB that shall not be named. Much like the substance that shall not be named, he will no longer be spoken of on this site - until he signs with the Vikings, that is. And, if you are wondering, I am planning on getting to the point where everything I write about is "the something that shall not be named." Reading my posts will be like playing Mad Libs, except way more annoying.

-Juice